"I Know How You All Look Forward To Your Weekly Rampaging Bitch Sessions About Me And [CockBibs]"

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Do you remember CockBibs? Or the unhinged man who invented them? Well, he's firing off angry emails to us again. This time, he's irate about an Urban Dictionary definition that Jezebel readers created—and made popular!—for the term "cockbib."


All typos have been left unedited, because, well, it's just more fun that way.

I know that it has been a while since you have heard from me but I just wanted you and your readers know that CockBibs are Alive and Kicking! Sorry for dissappearing on you and your readers like that, I know how you all looked forward to your weekly rampaging bitch sessions about me and product.

It's funny, I took the time to read ALL the comments and I noticed that one of you readers took it upon themselves to create a definition for CockBib and a bunch of your readers co-signed this dumb ass definition! Lets just say I am not amused! I DEMAND that your readers go back to the urban dictionary and give that definition the Thumbs Down! Its like over 2000 Up Votes! I mean, what the Hell? Are you guys gonna start burning Cockbibs next in protest of them or throwing paint on then. I am sure your clever readers will find some new and innovative way to desecrate my bibs.

I guess he's trying to tell us that he prefer we spit on, rather than talk shit on his CockBibs.

Look, its not like I am selling Gangster Rap, Fur Coats or clubbing baby seals. Cut me a Friggen Break! I am really pissed about this urban dictionary shit! I did not work this hard to create a product just so that you and your readers can poke fun at it and misrepresent it! Alot of time and care goes into what I do and I happen to have a great product, as it turns out is more people buy it as a Gag Gift than a Blowjob Bib but Fuck It, Whatever! Its still funny as hell!

Tracie, I have no problem with you but it is your responsibilty to fix this!

He's right. It is my responsibility to fix this. I can't believe that the Urban Dictionary definition of cockbib ("A person who whines excessively about a common, everyday occurrence that the vast majority of people have no trouble handling or do not even recognize as a problem") is hovering around 2500. It should be way more. So go over and vote for it today!


Erin Gloria Ryan

This is easier than shooting cockfish in a barrel.