Why is it that men who are busy always assume some woman is busying herself pining over them? When is an unnecessary apology worse than an un-offered necessary one? And where did guys as awkward as this learn to believe they were such studs? Whatever, so: Serena and Michelle are housemates, and Michelle and Schuyler go to law school together, and the other night Michelle mixed her two crowds and everyone went out on a bender that wound up back at her place. Now, Michelle generally thought of Schuyler as a decent guy, though an incident last winter set off a little alarm bell in her head: he forgot about Valentine's Day until a pair of heart-themed boxers arrived in the mail from his mother, and immediately re-gifted the boxers to his long-distance girlfriend on the other side of the country, who happened to also be a single mother. So Michelle could be forgiven for...um...being surprised to find the lovely Serena making out with Schuyler in her kitchen? "It never even occurred to me that they would hook up," she says. The two went upstairs, though Serena asked Schuyler not to stay the night, and the other day, this came over the transom. The names have been changed, but you get the idea.
It's Schulyer [Skylar]. I just wanted to let you know that I feel like an asshole for not calling you sooner. I am not assuming that you've been wondering why I haven't called, and maybe you could not care less. But I told you I'd call and I haven't, and I don't normally behave like that, so I feel like you deserve an explanation - even if, as is likely, you haven't given it any thought.
The week before we hooked up I had gone on a few dates with some other woman, and more since then. It's not really going anywhere, and I intend to end things - but I didn't feel right seeing you again while still seeing her, and that's why I haven't called you since. But it's been bothering me and I wanted to explain this to you.
This email might come off totally silly and unnecessary, but I just wanted you know and hopefully you don't think I'm a total asshole.
I don't imagine you've ever seen my name in print before, so I'll give you the phonetic: [Skylar]