Brooklyn Craigslist Ad Offers the Complete Girls Living Experience

Illustration for article titled Brooklyn Craigslist Ad Offers the Complete emGirls/em Living Experience

If you're a Girls superfan looking for accommodation in New York—if you've always wanted to suck down spoonfuls of Cool Whip with Hannah or bicker with Hannah's gay ex-boyfriend whose name I already forgot because his story arc was so weirdly short and abrupt—Craigslist has officially got you covered. This delightfully on-the-nose sublet ad promises an actual Hannah ("She self-identifies as an 'artist'"), amenities such as "a window," and activities like "Gallery openings that are incredibly meaningful to us on a deep personal level." It's ironic but it's not. Read the whole thing here:

$1500 / 1br - 1BR in 3BR "HBO Girls" Living Experience $1500 (Williamsburg)

Are you a fan of the HBO TV show Girls? Do you want to be happy and to stop living experiences for other people? Do you believe that your life represents a commentary on the state of the Caucasian, 20-something, used-to-be-upper-middle-class-but-now-only-sometimes-benefit-from-the-wealth-and-status-of-your-parents demographic? Well search no further; we have the perfect living experience for you.

We've got a one room for sublet in a three bedroom (used to be two) livable and trendy but trashy-enough-to complain-about-apartment. Living with us is essentially the real life version of the TV show.


-One gay roommate, with a penchant for backhanded compliments, adding the oh-so-needed bitchiness to a night in of getting drunk and re-watching 90s TV shows. He is everything you might want in a roommate: neurotic, judgmental, and certainly more attractive than you.

-One roommate named Hannah (for reals) with the fashion sense of a homeless kindergartener. She shares a number of wardrobe items with Lena Dunham, but also adds a flare of originality through such novelties as elephant pants. She self-identifies as an "artist."

-Both of us graduated from college two years ago and moved to New York to "follow our careers." Watch as we navigate the minefield that is our 20s and tackle the challenges of our generation, including: Is it appropriate to sleep with [person X], and would you judge me if I did? Which Thai restaurant should I order from tonight? And how does one install a coat rack onto an electrical panel? (But really if you know the answer to that last one, please drop us a line.)


Aside from the day to day interactions that could probably supply Girls with a season's worth of dialogue, here are some things that you can look forward to:

-Concerts by local bands that we're only at because we're friends of a friends

-Warehouse parties

-Hanging out in Greenpoint

-Hanging out in cafes

-Gallery openings that are incredibly meaningful to us on a deep personal level

-Dinner parties that can really only be called that because they sometimes involve dinner, but more often involve wine

-Lots of angst

The Room

It's a room. There's a window. What more are you looking for? Okay; if you're interested, I'll send you photos or whatever, but they're going to be instagramed.

What We're Looking For

Do you watch Girls and think "they're living the life of my generation; I need to get back to the people and live more like them"? If yes, then you're probably in the right place. Basically we just want to keep living our lives and we need someone for that room, because we can't afford to keep the place otherwise and will be forced to move to Bushwick. Typologies of roommates we would accept include "Shoshanna"s or "Marnies." Bonus points if you're related to Brian Williams.

You may be asking yourself "is this post ironic?"

Yes, yes it is.

But no not really, we actually do need someone for that spare room.

*Details on duration and photos etc. available on request. Move in on May 1st

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Rebecca "Burt" Rose

I am posting an ad looking for Roommates to come check out Jezebel's Powder Room:

Hello! Are you sober? (Why? It's totally past noon, we think.) Are you lost and trying to find that blog where people put Patrick from Spongebob into funny current event photos? Well we have something much better!

Who we are*:

La Comtesse The Countess is usually found fawning over her poster of Jamie Lannister and memorizing the words to every episode of Archer and Bob's Burgers.

CassieBearRawr BE CAREFUL CASSIEBEARRAWR IS A BEAR. STAND PERFECTLY STILL. If CassieBearRawr sees you and is closer than 300 feet, or if she is approaching you, remain calm and try to look as large as possible. Stand your ground and try not to look frightened. Try to back away slowly—do not run—and speak softly. If the bear continues to approach as you back away, stop and stand your ground. Speak more loudly in a deep, calm voice, and wave your arms to make yourself look bigger. Keep an eye on CassieBearRawr , but avoid direct eye contact, this can be interpreted as a challenge by her. Do not be aggressive, but do not crouch down, play dead or otherwise show fear or vulnerability. If she charges you, muster all your courage and stay where you are: the charge is most likely a bluff, and if you stand your ground she will turn away.

Burt Reynolds is My Spirit Guide She is mostly in lounging around in a pair of sweatpants she found at a bus stop, posting phony Confession Bears on Reddit and rambling incoherently about co-workers who “are out to get her”. All you need to know about her is don't touch her vodka. Seriously. Just don't.

Experiences – Or what you’ll get with us in The Powder Room

-Dollar Art




-Rage GIFs!!

-Vital research

-This rambling idiotic bullshit that BRIMSG posted one time.

What We're Looking For

Vodka, pills, naked pictures of Jamie Lannister, more rage gifs, gifs of naked Jamie Lannister and BRIMSG's car keys she lost the other day.

(*there’s a lot more really awesome people I did not mention and I am sorry because all of you are fantastic but I had to go to do some work I’M SO SORRY)