Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Human Ipecac Hulk Hogan Is Opening a 'Breastaurant' Because the World Is So, So Gross

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Hulk, Hulk, Hulk, Hulk, Hulk. Hulk. Listen, little buddy. Grab a knee. The point of a "restaurant" is to make the food go down, not up. So why on earth would you put the words "Hulk Hogan" and "breastaurant" in the elevator-pitch for your business plan? When just reading those words in the same sentence is an emetic brown-note of soul-evacuating proportions? Why, Hulk? Whyyyyyyyyyy?

On New Year's Eve, the former wrestling personality is set to open "Hogan's Beach," a 20,0000-square-foot beachfront property on the Courtney Campbell Causeway in Tampa Bay, Fla.

Hogan told the Tampa Bay Times that the the eatery is "going to be Jimmy Buffet's [Margaritaville] times 10; Hooters times 10." It'll be a "logical extension of the Hogan brand," he continued, with his image and likeness plastered about the place.

There's no word yet on what the waitstaff will wear (or not wear), but Hogan did reveal that the restaurant will feature a mechanical shark ride, volleyball courts, fire pits, cabanas and tiki huts. He also dished about the possibility of a reality show centered around the eatery. "CMT is very interested," he said, describing the would-be program as "Baywatch, Muscle Beach and Cheers all in one."

In conclusion, this. [HuffPo]


Oh, Norman Schwarzkopf died!

Schwarzkopf became popularly known as "Stormin' Norman" during 1991 Gulf War that booted Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's forces out of neighboring Kuwait.

Operation Desert Storm lasted just over a month as Schwarzkopf's international coalition made quick work of the Iraqi troops.

According to the AP, which first reported the death, Schwarzkopf had retired in Tampa where he held his last assignment as commander-in-chief of U.S. Central Command.

Schwarzkopf was 78 years old. Cause of death is unclear, at this point.

Condolences all around. [TMZ]


Suri Cruise spent some time with each parent during the family's first post-divorce Christmas:

"Suri spent Christmas day with her mother and her family in Ohio," says a source close to Katie Holmes. "It was a wonderful day."

..."We have got lots of very special things planned," [Tom Cruise] said at the London premiere of his film Jack Reacher, adding that he would be with his kids Bella, 20, Connor, 17, and Suri, 6. "We are all going to be together."

Now, the gang is indeed together, the second source confirms.

The source did not reveal where the family is, but Cruise's private jet was spotted in Telluride, Colo., on Wednesday.


Suri got better presents than you. [People]

  • I can't tell what Justin Theroux's tattoo is, so I'm just going to treat myself to the assumption that it's Caddie Woodlawn. I'm worth it!!! [Radar]
  • I still don't understand what a "Rita Ora" is, but here is a picture of it "sizzling in a teeny bikini." [HuffPo]
  • Vanessa Lachey and son did some adorable snugglin'. [E!]
  • Here's a sneak peek of Lindsay Lohan's non-appearance/complete douche-out on Million Dollar Decorators. [HuffPo]
  • One of those Kings of Leon people had a baby and named it Violet. [ONTD]
  • I was all ready to rip on this headline ("Jessica Simpson and Her Cleavage Say Aloha From Hawaii") for being kind of shitty and objectifying and insulting to J-Simp's personhood, until HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THAT GIANT BEWB. [E!
  • Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart went for a walk. [JustJared]
  • LOOK at Leelee Sobieski's FUCKING WAIST, you guys!!!!!!!!!! [E!]
  • Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield rescued a golden retriever and named it Ren ("La Reina Blanca"). [E!]
  • Dooooooooooooooood Sofia Vergaraaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! [Radar]
  • Oh my god, you guys, be cornier. [Us]
  • Neve Campbell had a baby and, after much deliberation, named it Caspian. (Also in the running: Puddleglum, Reepicheep, Trufflehunter, Tash the Inexorable.) [ContactMusic]