So did you check out 'Modern Love' in the New York Times over the weekend? The one with the 25-year-old virgin who works at an abortion clinic and gets jealous when her friends have pregnancy scares? Because she feels like a lack of sex, although not a big deal, is a really big deal? That is trapping her in childhood and preventing her from being a "real woman"? So she goes on the pill, for the hormones or something, and finally gets laid? But doesn't feel good until the moment after she takes the pregnancy test we all know the result of, in that moment before she actually knows the result, because she doesn't necessarily believe she isn't pregnant, even though she couldn't have sex before she took pills that would prevent her from being so? Wait, what?? We tracked down the one woman we thought might be able to shed some light on Kate McGovern's situation, renowned virginity expert — and 30-year-old virgin — Jane virginity bloggerSarah DiMuro. Her thoughts:
I read this in Bryant Park and I was just like, whooah. I'm biased, but I feel like she didn't help herself by actually having sex. It as weird to me that she felt 'not like a woman' before. On one hand she's surrounded by sex because she works at Planned Parenthood and she claims to have this really clinical view of sex, where she says it's a technicality, but then she says it's really important. For most of the column I was thinking she didn't really want it.
And then she has sex only after she went on the pill, and she said she had hormones raging through her that she didn't need. But clearly, you know, she was paranoid. I wonder if she went to Wellesley, they're all a bit unbalanced over there. I was really looking to relate to this, but it was hard. I mean, she was a late bloomer and I could relate to that, but she said when she posted on Craigslist she was surprised by all the guys who emailed her saying, you know, wait, save it for something special. That didn't surprise me. The thing is she has this really clinical viewpoint on sex but she's not having it, and yet she surrounds herself with it all the time; I think she probably doesn't even know what she thinks. I was thinking, she probably thinks about sex when she goes into McDonald's and thinks, "Oh my god, everyone in the world is having sex but me." She's thinking about sex all the time and never having it, so she doesn't know what she thinks, it's like a puzzle. I thought it was weird that she had lied to people in her life about being a virgin. I love telling people, like my gynecologist, it's like this crazy thing! So whatever, then she goes and tells Sabrina, who's cleaning out the uterus vacuum, and she totally puts Sabrina on this pedestal and Sabrina could not give a shit whether she's a virgin or not, which you think is going to be the point, and then in the last line she has sex and has that pregnancy "scare" and says she's finally "the woman I wanted to be." That was like the creepiest line ever. This girl totally needs to be in therapy. Hey, I'm in therapy! Everyone should be in therapy! But I really hope that she's talking to someone.
My Virginity Went From Choice To Burden [NY Times]