How Jane Roe Went from being a Lesbian Pro-Choice Icon to a Straight Born-Again Anti-Choice Activist

Jane “Roe v Wade” Roe, or Norma McCorvey, was the plaintiff in the landmark Supreme Court Case which, 40 years ago today, legalized abortion in the United States. A former lesbian and pro-choice icon, McCorvey is now a straight, born-again, Catholic, anti-choice activist. What the fuck happened? Since McCorvey was born-again, and has struggled with addiction, I present to you a 12-step program and how-to guide of Norma’s transformation.

1. Be born (for the first time) and raised in Dallas by an abusive, alcoholic Jehovah’s Witness single mother.
2. Drop out of school by 14, start working as a roller-skating carhop at 15, run off with and marry a customer who orders a “furburger” (he had her at furburger).
3. Become pregnant, divorce your abusive husband, move back in with your mother and give her custody over your daughter.
4. Do a lot of drinking and drugs, sleep with mostly women, but with enough men to become pregnant again and put your second child up for adoption.
5. Continue to do a lot of drinking and drugs, continue to sleep with mostly women, but with enough men to become pregnant for a third time and decide you want an abortion.
6. Since, abortion is only legal in six states and Texas isn’t one of them and you lack the funds to travel, become the plaintiff in the case Roe v Wade, which will legalize abortion in the United States.
7. Meet Your girlfriend Connie and try to make a living off of being a pro-choice activist and speaker. Hang out with Gloria Allred and have NBC make a movie about you starring Holly Hunter. Write an autobiography called I Am Roe.
8. Meet evangelical minister Flip Benham, when he moves his anti-choice organization Operation Rescue in next door to the clinic you are working at. Become born-again during a televised baptism in a swimming pool.
9. Become straight but continue to live with your former girlfriend (who you introduce as your aunt, godmother or cousin), found a nonprofit, Roe No More Ministry, and write a book called Won by Love. Try to make a living off of being an anti-choice activist and speaker.
10. Convert to Roman Catholic after meeting Father Frank Pavone of the organization Priests for Life.
11. Leave your girlfriend, I mean your aunt, godmother or cousin, when she has a stroke. (It’s the “Christian” thing to do.)
12. Accept $1,000 to appear in a Florida television ad paid for by Randall Terry, the founder of Operation Rescue, who runs (unsuccessfully) for congress. In it, say, “Do not vote for Barack Obama…. He murders babies.”