How Did "No Means No" Become A Fun Rape Joke?

Illustration for article titled How Did "No Means No" Become A Fun Rape Joke?

Hey, look at the T-shirt! It says "No Means No (Well, maybe if I'm drunk.)" Is this an overly, like, Jezebel thing to write a post about? Whatever! It's Friday! Okay, sooooo, "No means no." See the period? Affirmative? Good. After a few drinks and maybe a blow job, you can add another sentence. Such as: "Oh who am I kidding, I have no self-control." Or: "Okay, enough with your dick in my mouth, I changed my mind." Or: "What with the increased bloodflow in the direction of my gonads I am going to have to reconsider that stance." Those and numerous other statements would, in effect, render void and inapplicable the preceding "No." The fact that the word "no" had been uttered prior to the consent, for whatever reason, is moot. And yet! Somehow the often-amusing, eminently human phenomenon that is changing one's mind as to one's amenability to sex with an individual, a process men and women experience with frequency, has been twisted into an excuse for rape. Successfully twisted, we should add: even if the whole "one in four women gets raped in college" is exaggerated, is one in four.

So, how has date rape become such everyday dudehavior? You can probably blame a religious fetishization of virginity for the fact that a lot of girls say "no" to sex they actually want. Perhaps this is a source of some disappointment to dudes who try to fuck Christian girls. (Dudes, come on, stop trying to fuck Christian girls.) So...they date rape them? So they can leave them filled with a nagging sense of lifelong shame? That will fuck up their sex lives, much worse than the religion ever did, for years and years to come? Jesus Christ. Okay, and then there is the chance that she just doesn't want to have sex with you. Maybe she's flirting with you for affirmation, maybe she's heard you're shitty in the sack, maybe she's hung up on someone else, maybe she heard about your folliculitis of the balls. Whatever. So you stick it in anyway and achieve the worst sex of your life and leave her wondering for years and years and years, "Why the fuck did he do that to me?"

One time when this happened to me, I actually asked, and he said, "You just didn't seem to be the kind of girl who thought sex was that big a deal." How perceptive! So why the fuck would you commit a felony to stick it in a girl so deeply uninterested in having sex with you she bothered to say "no" for once in her entire sex-positive life?


I still don't know. But hey! Apparently the shirt's been pulled. Go Feministing Bonerkiller Squad!

Hilarious Rape Shirt Pulled [Feministing]

Share This Story

Get our `newsletter`



That shirt went through several folks at this company before it was sent to a manufacturer who then made the decision to make it.

If I saw this shirt out I would def say something to the wearer.