The first Cosmo of the new year is out! And it's touting "Sexy Sex." Sexy Sex! That sure beats "Sexual Fucking," which we suggested as a cover line after editor-in-chief Kate White thought up "Erotic Sex" for August. Anyway! In pointing out how redundant Cosmo sex tips seem to have gotten after all these we risk sounding REDUNDANT ourselves? Yes! Okay, but seriously, page 99:

Get in the doggie-style position—you on your knees and your guy kneeling behind you.

Um, thanks! Anyway suffice it to say the story advertised, "7 Best New Sex Tricks," is full of all sorts of hot new ideas — sex in the shower! sex in a sleeping bag! sex using his dick to "stimulate your clitoris"! covering your hand with a fishnet stocking and giving him a hand job (don't forget the lube!) — that um, maybe...suggest Cosmo is in sorta a "romance rut" (see page 92) with sex tips. It needs to rediscover that sexy sexiness that made it so sexing sexy in the first place! So, just for Kate, we scoured old issues of the magazine until we came upon a particularly naughty — NSFW! — example from April 1977...

Here's the first page. Shape up for Nude Bathing! Nude's like sexy sex! And like, scroll down REAL QUICKLY if you're at work.