Here, take a big swig of alcohol and look at some art.
- The House Intelligence Committee released a 253-page, heavily-redacted version of the Republican report on its year-long Russia investigation, officially finding no evidence of collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign. Democrats say that the investigation neglected to subpoena vital information or interview important witnesses, and that, shocker, Republicans weren’t super interested in finding evidence of collusion to begin with. [CNN]
- But, then again, there’s also this. [Twitter/AP]
- Basically everyone is angry that Paul Ryan fired the House chaplain, a move so petty and godless, you’d think Ryan was a popular politician, hey-o! [Politico]
- Donald Trump told a story about how he signed the first half of his name (“Donald”) before reading what he was signing, learning it was approving a $1 billion facility in Jerusalem, deciding, whoops, that’s too much, and halting his signature. [Washington Post]
- The custody battle between Jason Miller (‘memba him?) and A.J. Delgado (‘memba her?), for some reason, involves Miller claiming that the moon landing was faked, a fact which he allegedly learned from Ted Cruz’s team. Fuck me up!!! [Daily Mail]
- Whomst will Trump’s next secretary of Veterans Affairs nominee be? Maybe someone, maybe no one. [ABC News]
- Pennsylvania Rep. Patrick Meehan will resign and repay the $39,000 in tax dollars he used to settle a sexual harassment case, but I think he should add a tip. [NBC News]
- An LA Times investigation has found that ICE made over 1,480 wrongful arrests since 2012. [LA Times]
This has been Barf Bag.