Illustration for article titled Horrible Things Dane Cook Said on Stage Last Night

Fratastic "comedian" Dane Cook showed up at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles last night to perform a most unexpected set. What a potentially unpleasant surprise! Famous comics — a label that really pains one to use in regards to Cook, but he was in some crappy movies — are known to drop in at clubs at random, usually bumping some of the night's scheduled performers to try out new material. And that is what happened last night. Here, according to various witnesses, are some choice snippets from his set:

  • He advised audience members to "go fuck a dirty whore. That's the best therapy."
  • He reminisced about that time he "chainsaw-fucked" a "disgusting whore's cunt."
  • He talked about how girls would do anything for him "because I'm me."

Well isn't that insightful! Don't quit your day job, Dane — oh, wait. Fuck.



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