Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Honestly, This NRA Ad About 'Flower Child' Obama Versus Brave Patriotic Gator Wrestlers is Spectacular

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The NRA is in the midst of constantly re-branding itself, as is necessary when you’re the most powerful gun lobbying group in a nation where everyone, including children, are constantly murdering each other with guns. Honestly, though, this two-month-old ad, part of a series on how brave and tough Americans are: It’s spectacular.

The ad was uploaded to the NRA’s YouTube channel March 22, but just began making the rounds today; we saw it via Mediaite. It features a gravelly, wild-eyed, suede-jacketed Charlie Daniels running through a flabbergasting, surreal, absolutely nonsensical monologue about how while the president is a pussy, the gator wrestlers of this great nation are not.

Addressing the “Ayatollahs of Iran,” Daniels warns, “You might have met our fresh-faced flower child president and his weak-kneed, Ivy League friends, but you haven’t met America.” Wow. Hell yes. Who are America? Where is them?


He continues:

You haven’t met the heartland, or the people who will defend this nation with their bloody, calloused, bare hands, if that’s what it takes. You haven’t met the steelworkers and the hard-rock miners, or the swamp folks in Cajun country who can wrestle a full-grown gator out of the water.

You haven’t met the farmers, the cowboys, the loggers and the truck drivers. You don’t know the mountain men who live off the land, or the brave cops who fight the good fight in the urban war zones.

No, you’ve never met America. And you oughta pray you never do.

I have no idea what’s going on, but I love every single wild-eyed, sweat-soaked, coal-dusted, gator-wrasslin’ second of it.