"Hon, Would You Mind Helping Me Stuff My Ex-Husband In A Vat Of Acid So As To Dissolve Him Alive?"

Illustration for article titled Hon, Would You Mind Helping Me Stuff My Ex-Husband In A Vat Of Acid So As To Dissolve Him Alive?

Even we get tired of reporting on all the women who go missing only to be found having been heinously killed by the men they used to fuck. Which is why in the middle of constructing a post about how Drew Peterson wants your money we were — um, "stoked" wouldn't really be a tasteful word here so let's just say "interested" — to come upon the case of Larissa Schuster, a biochemist convicted yesterday of murdering her ex-husband, who was also a chemist.

Authorities say [Schuster and her former lab assistant] knocked out Timothy Schuster with a stun gun and chloroform, then dumped him into the barrel before adding the highly corrosive acid while he was still breathing. His partially-dissolved body was found later at a San Joaquin Valley storage unit.



Seriously, I don't know where to begin with this one. Some news station has been blogging the entire trial in graphic detail for weeks now, and I'm all kinds of behind, but uh, how crazy would you have to be to be the lab assistant that dissolve him alive? Also, aren't scientists supposed to be logical, rational types? This one makes the NASA diaper lady look totally sane.

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When *I* want someone out of my life, my VERY first thought is "I should throw them in a vat of acid."

SERIOUSLY? This shit only ever happens in, like, comic books! And then the victim winds up becoming an insane villain. Dude, this woman's husband isn't dead— he's just waiting to resurface as The Joker.