Holiday Gifts Made Easy: Print a Dildo at UPS

It’s the day after Thanksgiving, which means that it’s time to start thinking about Christmas. And if the people that matter to you don’t have an Amazon wish list, you might consider doing all of your shopping at UPS, where you can now have a dildo 3D printed for you.

This, of course, is the natural progression of 3D-printed objects. First there were those creepy mall kiosks where you could buy miniature plastic clones of yourself (and even those jar things that housed the rose in Beauty and the Beast) for only $100 and hand them out to all your friends. Now, there are dildos. At the kind-of post office. Are you in? Who even knew 3D printing was available at UPS?

The Daily Dot reports that UPS has some specific rules about what you can and can’t print — no nuclear weapons, nothing that is protected by copyright — but there’s nothing that actually prohibits you from asking your friendly neighborhood shopkeeper to print a butt plug from your USB drive except good manners and good hygiene (commenters on the article note that you might want to use these sex toys for display purposes only as they are not the best material for actual use).

Your fun could be thwarted, however, by the fact that each UPS store is independently owned:

From The Daily Dot:

However, we were also told that each individual UPS Store owner could potentially place a ban on specific items, and if an item isn’t on the prohibited list, it’s ultimately up to each store owner on a case-by-case basis. It seems if you want that 3D-printed sex toy of your dreams you’ll have to venture in to a UPS Store and test your luck—as well as the open-mindedness of its employees.

Maybe hit a couple? I’m in San Francisco, so the odds that I could get this done are good (I hope no one on the edit team reads this and thinks this would be a good idea for me to test), but your mileage may vary in Modesto or Manteca.