Hip Republican Credits Daughters With Teaching Him Cooking, Cleaning Skills

Illustration for article titled Hip Republican Credits Daughters With Teaching Him Cooking, Cleaning Skills

Scott Brown of Massachusetts is pretty much the GOP's greatest remaining hope for hip, modern ideas in a party increasingly characterized by dour, prude regressionism. A visionary new voice for a party that's unfortunately branded itself as a retro outfit that just wants women to get back to the kitchen. Yes, Scott Brown listens to women and respects them as so much more than housewives. Why, just the other day Brown's wife told reporters that Scott Brown's daughters teach him important lessons all the time. You know, lady-lessons. Like cooking and cleaning.


Brown's currently locked in a heated Senate race against liberal darling Elizabeth Warren, the former Harvard Law professor and consumer advocate who terrifies many in the Washington establishment due to her demonstrated intelligence and abject intolerance for bullshit. In the latest round of horse race polling, it appears Warren's pulling ahead of Brown, leading the incumbent Senator by a 46 to 41 margin.

At a press conference on Monday at Brown's campaign headquarters, fellow Reasonable Republican® Olympia Snowe spoke words of support for her colleague, claiming Brown's not anti-lady. He's not your run-of-the-mill party line He Man Woman Hater like some of the Washington fatcats opposing the renewal of the Violence Against Women Act like some kind of spittoon-toting dick swinging cowboy. He's standing up against anti-lady violence by believing that women are capable of so much more than just staying in the house and smiling sweetly while giving birth or bleaching skid marks out of men's underwear. They've got lessons to teach him, the women.

Brown's wife Gail Huff added that now that his daughters are 23 and 21. they have lively dinner table discussions about all sorts of great ideas. When reporters asked her what kind of ideas the daughters give Brown, Brown chimed in with a hearty "how to cook!"

"Yeah, how to cook, how to sew, how to clean," said his wife.

Scott Brown: Motherfucking maverick, y'all.

GOP's Snowe: Reward Scott Brown for bipartisanship [AP]


Lady Jólakötturinn

I must be doing it wrong. My dad taught me how to clean.