Him???

Perhaps this is not news to anyone reading this, but it is news to me—were you all aware that Ivanka Trump dated Topher Grace? Well they did.

Let’s set the scene: November, 2006. Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas. Ivanka Trump’s 25th birthday. Everyone who is anyone is there—Ryan Cabrera, Chelsea Handler, Adam Levine. Ivanka, resplendent in Bebe’s finest, catches the eye of Topher Grace—a man who, if you squint hard and tilt your head to the right and then the left, looks like the man she will eventually marry in a devil’s pact that will carry them all the way to the White House.

Fresh off a breakup from Bingo Gubelmann (him!) in 2005, Ivanka briefly dated Lance Armstrong (him?), and then moved right along to Grace, who reflected upon this brief moment in history this week during an interview with the Daily Beast, which was ostensibly set up to discuss his role as KKK leader David Duke in Spike Lee’s BlacKkKlansman.

When asked about whether or not he dated Ivanka, he said. “Uh… I did. Certainly it wasn’t a political statement. This was a decade ago. I met her here in New York and we went on a couple of dates. I wouldn’t say that we ‘dated,’ but… I didn’t do it for political reasons.”

So there you have it. Ivanka rebounded from Bingo Gubelmann with Lance Armstrong, then moved on to Topher Grace before settling on the newest and shiniest model of her preferred type, the adenoidal pipsqueak that is Jared Kushner. And here we all are today. Life sure is a journey.