Herman Cain Calls His Accuser A Liar, Laughs Uncomfortably

Another day dawns, and the four ring Herman Cain Handsiness Media Circus continues apace.

Come one, come all! See Herman Cain, the black Republican who wants to be President. Ponder his motivation! Puzzle over why so many people continue to support a man with terrible ideas! Marvel at the women, three of them faceless, toward whom Cain has allegedly moved creepily. Gasp at our country’s future!

Yesterday, Sharon Bialek, flanked by her agenttourney Gloria Allred, publicly accused Cain of sexual harassment, stating that he once became physically aggressive with her after she approached him looking for a job (although if what Bialek says is true, what Cain did is more like sexual assault). Cain says that this is hogwash, that he’s still “200% married,” whatever that means, and that his wife is disgusted by the women accusing him of malfeasance.

This morning, George Stephanopoulos and his hair interviewed Bialek, the newly unmasked creepiness victim, and asked her for her take. She’s not amused by the accusations that she’s lying or coming forward in exchange for money and revealed that she isn’t being charged for the legal council of Allred.

“We’re doing this pro bono,” explained Bialek. Allred clarified that ‘pro bono’ means free of charge.

“More like ‘pro boner,'” responded every 12 year old’s brain.

Meanwhile, in the back of a crowded room somewhere, Michele Bachmann fruitlessly yells “Anderson!” at the American people.