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It’s not much of an exaggeration to say that every day for the past 356 days has been nothing short of a waking nightmare. The thought of ghosts and ghouls used to keep me up at night; now, a poltergeist could sit directly on my face and I doubt I’d even flinch. My clothes could fly around my room of their own accord, with several pairs of pants eventually spelling out the words “YOU WILL DIE TOMORROW,” and I’d just take a sip of water and go back to sleep. Satan himself could appear in my doorway holding what seems to be me, as a baby, but the first thing I’d do is show him a series of Trump’s latest tweets. “Can you believe this shit?” I’d ask him.

“This is so fucked up,” Satan would sigh, batting away some flames.

Wrongly assuming that the reality of our current political climate isn’t horror enough, the White House on Monday welcomed 6,000 children and adults from the greater D.C. area to witness up close the haunting specter of Trump’s pumpkin orange flesh and spider web-themed hair. Is it a coincidence that none of the photos reveal the kids’ faces? Is it because they’re all crying? Or screaming?

The power of Christ compels you...to caption these photos.

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