He Knows, But He's Not Saying

Illustration for article titled He Knows, But He's Not Saying
  • Obama's finally decided on a running mate! He's just not going to tell you who, though, so there. He says it's someone without a big ego, so Karen Tumulty thinks it isn't Biden, CNN's confirmed it's not Sam Nunn, and I wonder where on Earth he found a politician without a huge ego. [Associated Press, Time, CNN]
  • Speaking of enormous (and undeserved) egos, Rush Limbaugh's at it again, complaining that us Lesbian Feminazi Bonerkillers won't let him hit "girls." Oh, and Barack Obama is a "little black man-child." Dude, are the people that syndicate his show just going to let him show up in a white hood, too? [Media Matters]
  • By the way, McCain has finally found a point below which he won't stoop to pander to the electorate — he won't take a pledge to serve only one term (that he wouldn't intend to keep anyway) just so people will stop "wondering" about his advanced age. Glad to know there's a floor! [Politico]
  • The Justice Department has reportedly decided that the FBI shouldn't have to have any reasonable "basis for suspicion" to start spying on people. That's code for "it should be cool to racially and or religiously profile people," if you didn't catch the subtext. Has anyone been to the National Archives lately to see if the Constitution is actually still there? [NY Times]
  • By the way, we're placing missile interceptors in Poland to head off nuclear attacks... from Iran and North Korea. You know, since Poland stands in between us and North Korea, like, totally. [Attackerman]
  • By the way, oil prices are going up because of military and diplomatic tensions between the U.S. and Russia, which — if like many Americans you're a little sketchy on geographical details — does sit just the other side of Poland from us and Western Europe. Totally unrelated, though. [Associated Press]



Has anyone been to the National Archives lately to see if the Constitution is actually still there?

It is, but they've covered the case in black cloth, strapped it in a horizontal position, and dump buckets of water on it for hours on end in an attempt to get it to give up its secrets or die.