People is reporting that Deadpool star and Blake Lively’s husband Ryan Reynolds is now the owner of Aviation Gin, a brand I personally had not heard of until Wednesday morning. In a statement (never forget that 3/4 of People stories are glorified press releases), Reynolds said:
“Aviation is the best tasting gin in the world. Once I tried it, I knew I wanted to get involved with the company in a big way...If you think all gin tastes the same, you’d be mistaken. Aviation is in a completely different league and I couldn’t be prouder to be a part of the company.”
Along with the statement, People shared what might be the most manliest photo ever taken. Though a promotion for gin—a clear spirit—it is the color of whiskey, which we all know is the manliest alcohol. In it, Reynolds can be seen in repose on a distressed leather armchair. In each of his hands is a glass vessel, carelessly held as though he believes nothing in his possession could ever shatter. On his left ring finger, the sign of a man who has truly succeeded. Behind him, so much wood. On his face, a grin that says, “There’s even more wood under these jeans.” I’m afraid that if I stare at this photo too long, it will start bullying me.
This is a photo that would totally talk a big game about kicking your ass if you even said the word “queer” around it. A photo that will NOT see Call Me By You Name with his wife but would be more than happy to watch Deadpool again. A photo that loves chardonnay but would NEVER order one at the bar. A photo that doesn’t wipe enough. A photo that makes sure to say “my wife bought it for me” when people compliment his light yellow tie. A photo that has seen every single fucking Marvel movie but Dr. Strange because there’s something about that Cumberbatch guy that rubs him the wrong way—British dudes, you know? A photo that would like to get into homebrewing. A photo that would tell the realtor on House Hunters that it HATES rooms with bright colors and would settle for nothing less than a craftsman with plenty of projects because HE. LOVES. PROJECTS. This, my friends, is a photo that feels sort of bad for Billy Bush.
I hate it!