Harvard Students Crowdsource Ridiculous, Revealing Tips For Love

Have you ever wanted to see the cacophonous and often contradictory body of contemporary dating advice distilled into a single, ridiculous document? If so, a group of Harvard students has now made your dreams come true.

A Google document titled “The How To Guide for (Romantic) Relationships at Harvard” has surfaced on Twitter — numerous references to Harvard residence halls and Harvard president Drew Gilpin Faust suggest it is indeed legitimate. Or at least, it is legitimately from Harvard — its advice is not necessarily the gold standard of healthy relationship-building. The document (which is now locked) initially had multiple editors — the result is, as Jennifer 8. Lee puts it, a “crowdsourced” guide to romance. Some highlights:

“Embark on ‘coupley’ activities other than 2am hookups, such as 1 am hookups.
“Do cute, small things to surprise them; small fires are a good place to start.”
“Train yourself extensively so that you can defeat your partner in physical combat.”
“69. 69 69.69. 69 69. Do 69.”

Some of the advice, however, is quite wise. For instance:

“Although technology tempts us to deal with problems via texting and over the internet, remember that relationships are between people and try to deal with problems in person.”
“Don’t transfer your misplaced frustrations from other sources — midterms, job interviews, etc, on them. Remember that they’re going through hard times too.”
“Don’t be afraid to try new things together, both in terms of extracurriculars, new activities, and in bed. Sex toys aren’t only for bored people!”

Other items reveal the dangers of crowdsourcing (bracketed statements are from students, not us):

“Don’t hook up with other people. (or entertain the idea of an openly non-monogamous relationship) [a nonmonogamous relationship is sort of an oxymoron] [these are all on a certain level moral judgments, that’s what advice is] Ok. Advice: if you and your partner might be happier in a non-monagamous relationship, then be open to trying it out. My advice: experiment.”
“Be willing to make time for each other despite of your busy schedules. but don’t be pushy though.”
“ALWAYS make it clear from the start. Casual hookups do not turn into serious love. -You never know, although when in a casual hookup it’s best not to complicate with your feelings unless it’s mutual. One of my best relationships started as a hookup”
“34. Don’t be in a relationship just for the sake of it! You can be strong and independent all on your own. You should never NEED someone — you’re amazing just as you!
“34b . ^Truth. The best relationship might be when neither of you are looking for it — if you’re both whole on your own, then you won’t be super needy with each other =) / to each his own. (Also FYI Rose, if you do use this bit, it’s actually from Plato I think, where he goes on some rant about a red line connecting 2 people but I forgot where it’s from.)”
“34c. I can’t help but disagree a bit with above ^ I personally a think being in a relationship is more than two individuals. It’s when two people give up enough for each other to be something different. → Communism. → False understanding of communism ← that’s what the Communists want you to say.”

One editor of the document says it’s a project “for psych of close relationships.” Psychology of Close Relationships appears to be a new course offered this fall. Its description reads,

This course is an in-depth exploration of close relationships. Examples of topics to be covered include the biological bases of attraction; relationship formation; the end of relationships through break-up, divorce, or death; relationship satisfaction; deception; gender roles; same-sex relationships; loneliness; relationships and well-being; and public perceptions about relationships. You will have an opportunity to explore these topics primarily through critical examination of the empirical literature as well as through popular press.

We’ve contacted the Harvard psychology department for more information; in the meantime, it’s unclear whether course instructor Holly Parker assigned students to create a crowdsourced relationship guide, or whether they came up with this idea on their own. Whatever the case, the guide is a good reminder of how confusing today’s glut of romance tips can be. Be monogamous! Don’t be monogamous! Be independent! Be committed! Do 69! Set a fire! They may not have intended to do so, but the Harvard students have provided a pretty decent snapshot of the world of relationship advice — and it’s a scary, scary place.

Update: Harvard student Rose Wang emailed me to explain her creation of the guide:

For our final paper, Holly gave us 3 prompts— one of which is, “write a guidebook for relationship success. You may write the guide for success in friendships or romantic relationships. Please be clear about your intended audience and the focus of your guidebook (that is, is there a particular aspect of relationship success, such as communication, that is the focus of your book, or are you writing a more general guide). Although you will want to match your writing style to your intended audience, remember to reference the literature in your book.” Since I am no expert on relationships myself, I started this googledoc and seeded it with the first 5 tips and sent it over a couple of email lists, allowing anyone to edit the doc. Within the first 10 seconds, 20 people had the doc open and then within 20 minutes, people couldn’t even edit the doc because apparently googledocs has a 50-person edit limit. I had to shut down the edits after 2 hours, because people were trolling hardcore and I was getting tired of censoring inappropriate comments. (What you see now is much milder than some of things people were posting.) I had meant to send in an edited version of the document as an appendix to my paper, but it seems like it is out of my hands now, and I am about to email my professor to explain all this haha.

For the brave and/or bored, here’s the entire document:

The How To Guide for (Romantic) Relationships at Harvard

Sorry everyone— This was getting out of hand, so it’s read only now.- Rose

Although now it’s more of a Social Psych project (sorry you’ll need CUHS approval to use in research). Woops! Add a form but don’t delete this!

THIS IS AWESOME

Perfect form of procrastination right before finals. 😛

We are helping a friend do work. This is real work!

0. Be attractive. Duh. <- the "duh" makes this sound sarcastic but i actually meant it lol people who say looks dont matter are kidding themselves
0a. Don’t be unattractive. < good call
0b. Don’t remove bag from over face. Cut out eye-holes to see with.This is extremely misogynistic
1. Go on dates…dhall meals do not count.<<<<<<< yes they do... no they don't. you should pay for a date and not have your friends possibly drop in on your "date"! 1. we're not bankers yet 2. don't u want to meet the buddies? ⇒ (It's no fun unless the crew gets some) it's not a co-op its a relationship. ← it's college..rose!!!! i ruv you.
^ dhall meals count as a bad date, if you wanna get technical
2. Embark on “coupley” activities other than 2am hookups, such as 1 am hookups. Preferably not blackout drunk. But not mandatory.
3. Prioritize spending time with the other person. (It’s called studying together. And by studying, I mean not studying.) <3 or planning the "study" session with the next one
4. Don’t hook up with other people. (or entertain the idea of an openly non-monogamous relationship) [a nonmonogamous relationship is sort of an oxymoron] [these are all on a certain level moral judgments, that’s what advice is] Ok. Advice: if you and your partner might be happier in a non-monagamous relationship, then be open to trying it out. My advice: experiment. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory
5. Remember the little things— when they have finals/papers/etc. AND THE BIG THINGS. LIKE BIRTHDAYS. or what they might like but did not tell you (a theme you might see in their room, etc) ask favorite color! and animal?
6. Although technology tempts us to deal with problems via texting and over the internet, remember that relationships are between people and try to deal with problems in person.[omg too real] Alternatively, sexting can solve everything.
7. Remember that the other person (ideally) wants to make it work just as much as you do, and try to assume the best until actually assessing the situation.
8. Never make it a game of pride. EVER. STRONGLY AGREE.[OMG TOO REAL] (Stick to Hunger Games!) ooooh I agree with dat.
9. Do cute, small things to surprise them; small fires are a good place to start. what the hell? Small fires? Small fries.
10. Don’t transfer your misplaced frustrations from other sources – midterms, job interviews, etc, on them. Remember that they’re going through hard times too.
11. (Might not work for everyone) Try to keep focused on schoolwork during the week and make sure you prioritize work during the week so you can prioritize them on the weekends.
12. Be willing to make time for each other despite of your busy schedules. but don’t be pushy though.
13. Threesomes. +1 (Only when your relationship is stable enough, otherwise you should stick to foursomes.) gender preferences/ratios?
13.37 Don’t be n00b
14. Understand that a relationship is a two way exchange. There has to be just as much giving as there is receiving. [Impossible for this to go both ways ← FALSE!…]
15. Have a sex life. No seriously. true that. [A sex life is great if you are comfortable with it, but don’t feel like you HAVE to have a sex life. Do what feels most comfortable for you or you will be miserable in any relationship][ Clarification then: Make sure that both you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to sex: If not then honestly its something that needs to be figured out
16. Don’t be afraid to try new things together, both in terms of extracurriculars, new activities, and in bed. Sex toys aren’t only for bored people! +2
17. Pray together to the altar of Budweiser [if you are both comfortable with it, great idea.].
18. Remember that being part of a pair is good, but don’t make your relationship all you remember from your college experience – there’s a lot out there to explore besides your better half’s *ahem*
19. Trust. Without trust there is no relationship.
20. Go gay! Why not? Everybody else is doing it.
21. Occupy the yard; freezing bums in winter is a proven relationship booster. Also, they have a sweet jungle gym.
22. Involve Drew Faust in your … activities whenever possible. <3 <3 *Drew Gilpin Faust* <3 <3 23. Before you pick/continue a fight, ask yourself if it's worth it. 24. Be understanding of your partner. Girls like to assume men are always wrong and need to be some knight in shining armor and be everywhere and do everything, (this is coming from a girl by the way) Also, always assume heteronormative relationship models! Like making sandwiches and doing dishes? -Sorry for the example. Disregard if you so wish.- 25. Learn to listen to your partner. They might be seeing things from a perspective you haven't figured yet. 27. Love them. 29. To guys (this is coming from a guy). REMEMBER the day you asked her out -____- Take the time to do something a little special on days like your 100 day. Doesn't have to be big but it shows that you care. 30. Take Lit & Sex together! It will never be awkward for anyone. 32. ALWAYS make it clear from the start. Casual hookups do not turn into serious love. -You never know, although when in a casual hookup it's best not to complicate with your feelings unless it's mutual. One of my best relationships started as a hookup 33. If in long distance, try to make rituals to do together — send photos, postcards, or schedule Skype dates. ("Dates.") 34. Don't be in a relationship just for the sake of it! You can be strong and independent all on your own. You should never NEED someone — you're amazing just as you! 34b . ^Truth. The best relationship might be when neither of you are looking for it — if you're both whole on your own, then you won't be super needy with each other =) / to each his own. (Also FYI Rose, if you do use this bit, it's actually from Plato I think, where he goes on some rant about a red line connecting 2 people but I forgot where it's from.) 34c. I can't help but disagree a bit with above ^ I personally a think being in a relationship is more than two individuals. It's when two people give up enough for each other to be something different. → Communism. → False understanding of communism ← that's what the Communists want you to say. 35. Guys don't be jerks 37. Get out of the Harvard bubble. Unless that bubble is Mather Lather. When is that this year? ( Like :D ) 38. Don't compare the person you are dating with your ex. It'll make both parties really sad/feel like they can't live up to expectations or whatever. Every person is different (so treat them as individuals). Unless your ex is crap.(+9000. Flying spaghetti approves) 39. Don't just be completely cute and romantic in a pseudo-relationship without ever clearing the air about things. (Or... walk it out... http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=11971) 69. DERP HERP 40. 69 ← see what I did there? (#ISEEWHATYOUDIDTHARBRO)(ohsnap) 41. Just communicate in person on the regular. 42. Study for finals together. Like right now. (But you can look cutely at each other! Oh I guess so...) MEANING OF LIFE! 43. Don't study for finals together. Right now everyone is stressed out and its too easy to accidentally let it out at the worst time. let what out? Unless you two are helpful in relieving that stressTRUE.( (stress sex? does it exist?>> it’s the best)no but angry sex is hot(at least for men stress = really really bad performance… usually) viagra? (viagra when you honestly don’t need it is really bad for the health. Its makes it hard for a guy to perform normally without it later. So no) learn something every day.(as for angry sex. yes its hot :P)

Learn from each other. If [s]he really likes something way different from you, try to experience it for yourself before rejecting it. It’ll show that you care, even if you still hate it.+2
45. You don’t have to be on the phone with each other for hours a day. You also don’t have to get in fights about every person of the opposite gender [s]he speaks to. It’s OK — you like each other the most (hopefully). 🙂 +1 [Straight] Guys and girls can have friends of the opposite gender. [Gay guys and girls cannot, evidently.]nope. only of the same.

46.

Make sure you both want the same thing out of the relationship (are u just in it to have fun? looking for something to last a while?)

47. Start a rumor that your significant other has the clap! Then no one will want to hook up with them, so they can’t cheat on you. :)*dislike* [oh god evil] (That sounds really reasonable! Good thinking. I’ll have to try it! :D)[at least just say mono. gawd clap?]The Clap is at least 50 times as funny as mono. Don’t even try to cross me. I will cut you. << whoever wrote dis shit is crazy ← whoever wrote DAT shit just got CUT
48. Compliment each other sincerely from time to time =) Don’t overdo it though. The rest of the time, compliment insincerely! Or better yet, passive aggressively. lulzwhat

49. Whatever you do/say/moan, be cognizant of how thin your walls are… and whether your windows are open…I hate listening to sex on the other side of the wall!! Note for Leverites: cinder block isn’t that thick. [aka this is why I got sound cancelation headphones. Also btw Kirklanders… recently learned that sometimes sounds echo sthrough the fire places D:<]! Yooo I know you can always hear people pee in lev towers. You can hear everything in lev towers. Or consider playing music. Loud music. 50. Don't cry. Bottle it up! Hmm but should we also be real with our feelings? No. CS50! 51. Post your partner's info on www.crimsoncocks.tumblr.com ← unless they're female? Strap-ons, obviously. Oh isn't there also a crimson boobs? http://crimsonboobs.tumblr.com/ what if i just want to show off my ti-89 51. I assume this is not just Kirkland editing this document...Hi everhttp://crimsonboobs.tumblr.com/yone! >.>Hello from Quincy! [I’m this far down the page and nobody has mentioned Incest, so I guess it’s not Kirkland-only. Kirk-Kirk relationships are definitely the best.(Agreed!)] INCESTFEST!!!
52. If your boy/girlfriend makes a big mistake or ticks you off, it’s OK. Take a breath before you fight about it.
53. (Not sure if this is everyone, but…) It sometimes is annoying if you only say “sure” or “OK” or “I don’t care” — a definitive “yes” or “no” doesn’t have the other party questioning your sincerity/willingness to do something.
54. Don’t go into arguments angry as hell. If you feel its necessary save an argument for the next day when both people are clear headed about it.
55. Train yourself extensively so that you can defeat your partner in physical combat (or carry her up the stairs, super romantic!) should the occasion arise. (why only physical combat? Do a dance battle instead. 😛 But jousting always settles everything. (Or if you’re emotionally superior, you can win at mind games?) Yes! Mind games are a good option. Rose don’t use this part. {no mind games are not a good idea because usually its one person Really? I thought mind games were a really helpful couples bonding strategy. That’s the strategy I’ve used for my marriage over the last six years, and it’s worked out just fine. in a couple that mins (either the girl or the guy) and it leads to resentment}{person with 6 year marriage. The mind games work when the couple is completely comfortable with mental jousting and feel equal to one another. If that is not the case then it can cripple a relationship, and nobody wants a cripplationship.
We actually met as a part of an elaborate mind game. My spouse still does not know my real age, ethnic background, name, occupation, or gender. It’s fun to try to keep him guessing!

Wait, we have married people on here? Cool?[I feel this is trolling D:<] (agreed) (sounds reasonable to me) 56. Play Words with Friends together if you're in long distance. And by "Words with Friends," I mean be sure to close your windows and speak quietly when you're on the phone. (But actually playing games over iPhone is fun!) (Almost as fun as mind games! See #55) Or play never have I ever A better idea is to chat on Skype or Google video chat 57. HYGIENE! Be clean and smell clean. soooooaaaap = win. soap operas? 58. Prepare a dance routine for every TLC song, because you never know when you'll need to perform one. Start with "No Scrubs" and work your way from there. (Wait, what?) (http://lmgtfy.com/?q=No+Scrubs&l=1) 58. And, if it's reaaaaaaaaaaally not working out, and you've both tried to compromise, then maybe it's just time to move on :| But, if you haven't tried compromise at all, then man up and grow up. Only a Sith deals in absolutes. + Whoever is being a jerk-off learn to grow the hell up -__- And please stop trollololololololololing >.<

Instead, be mature. For example, call people “jerk-off”s.
59. Play “I just had sex” by Lonely Island really loudly if you hear your neighbor getting it on, or Smell Your Dick, by Riskay. “My Neck, My Back” by Khia is great for subtler moments. “Put it in your mouth” by Akinyele helps keep it subtle and classy. “Play” by David Banner, or perhaps “Wait (The Whisper Song)” by the Ying-Yang Twins, always helps to gently set the mood.
60. Don’t be related to each other (Yeah…) (super awkward) ( *turtle* ) Unless you are a four-term president and his lesbian wife. Incestfest being the exception. KHAUS <3
61. Don’t follow Shakespeare, unless you’re doing a skit for your date and [s]he really likes Shakespeare.
62. We’re so close to 69 SERIOUSLY!!!
63. Be safe.But not too safe! A little danger never hurt anybody. Well, except for when it did.
64. Massages make everyone happy in the end. Do it naked. (In the end… see what I did there?) oil…
65. Do it like a dude.
66. Go for a cute one. 69 foreplay.
67. do it like your mom
68. Love is hiding who you really are at all times, even when you’re sleeping. Love is wearing make up to bed, and going downstairs to the Burger King to poop, and hiding alcohol in perfume bottles. That’s love. <3

Love is waking up next to a plate of bacon. feed each other bacon. Use bacon lube, such thing exists!

What?Haha. I enjoy the <3 at the end

the skeet after the <3 makes no sense, you should at least make it a d obviously
69. 69 69.69. 69 69. Do 69. → subtle
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
69. 69 69.
70. What phone has a less than sign? No one ever sends hearts on phones!
71. Is your phone from the 80s?
72. The 1880s?
72a. They have less than signs in T9word if you look hard enough.
73. Be nice in bed. If you want something, show them you’ll give it to them first
74. Cuddle. Bitches love cuddling… Ain’t dat da troof. Cuddling’s the best. <3 cuddling. true that. I agree!
75. Anyone want to cuddle?Cuddle fest! Eliot House? Kirkland-wide sleepover? Can we organize one? [Kirkland seniors had a sleepover in the JCR last year. Ask Scott.] (Yeah it happened during senior week) Meet in pfoholibrary Alright guys, lets not turn this into Law and Order SVU
Lemon Law? oy vey
Who da heyul is going to go to the Quad to cuddle with some rando?
True Life: I go to the Quad to cuddle.
TL2: I go to the Quad to randomly say hi. Not even anything more.
TL3: I wouldn’t go to the Quad if my life depended on it.
The Quad is too cool for you anyway
TL4: Nuclear war is occurring, the only shelter is in the Quad, and I have chosen to die rather than seek refuge in the Quad.
TL5: no more true life
TL6: ZOMBIES
penis
I literally (Not “like literally.” Literally. I mean that if I had the option of going, I would not go. I mean literally in the literal sense. Literally.) would not go to the Quad for a personal appearance from Jesus Christ. So far away. Good lord.
A Quad is like a discrete shape with 4 sides. I don’t want to live in a shape, I want to live in a House.
76. Let’s turn it into Craigslist! Who’s down for a quick beej? You mean “Bored@Lamont”
77. Fisting anyone? [pdses is that you?]

Just kidding! Woops!
78. Make sure they don’t live in the Quad. Make sure they don’t live in your house. Make sure they’re not under the floorboards
79. Drugs are always fun! Expensive! Only in Cambridge!
80. People, animals, and inanimate objects don’t just pass out after sex 😛 learn to cuddle <- This is physically challenging. Not unlike the monkey bars. Fact.
81. Share your music-Mixtapes are totally outdated but every once in a while make for a
penis
brilliant gift = #82
82. Why give a mixtape when you could give a copy of the hit *NSYNC album Celebrity?
83. Dirty pop?
84. Joey Fatone or Chris Kirkpatrick? The existential dilemmas.
85. Do primal scream together! While engaging in sex acts. I met my girlfriend at primal scream! Primal scream being an avant-garde Canadian indie rock festival. +1
86. Shower together in champagne.
87. Anal sex? On the first date? Probably not a good idea. (Indeed, unless she’s a ginger. No, even if she is) Save it for the second. He/she probably will not be prepared. POOP EVERYWHERE<—ew. Phantom pooper in Pfoho
88. Best relationship advice I’ve ever heard: Quit playing games with my heart. Got me!!
89. Ben Cohen, #89.
90. But actually, Rose is the best! +29482109840129348 OVER 9000!
91. Look like J-Biebz
92. Meta edition: Look like a lesbian who looks like J-Biebz. +1
92. Is this actually for a class? I’m curious what you’re going to do with it. yeah it is…for psych of close relationships. haha Maybe it should be for psych of silliness and Drew Faust. Exhibit Penis
92. . Never love. it only destroys! (WOW affirms your statement.)
93. I like when she calls me big papa, +1 because I have a thing for chicks with Elektra complexes.
94. Ice them. I’m looking at you Rose. And be polite. you’ve been warned.
95. No rose!
96. Walking down the street, something caught my eye. A growing epidemic, that really ain’t right
97. Love hates censorship!
98. I try to say goodbye and i choke. try to walk away and i stumble. Then I try to hide it, it’s clear. I see you rose. Yes you are. Do it! Dont you DAre
99. Always talking about what you got. Girl you know that you need to stop.Boots with the fur, all the club is looking at her. She hit the floor, shit hit the floor, next thang you know, shawty got low, low, low, low.
99 ⅓ You’re gonna get cavities, with all this chocolate in your mouth.
99 ½. Lemme smang it gurllll Smash and bangggg
99 ¾ Hey lil mama lemme whisper in your ear. Tell you something that you might like to hear.
99.9 My lip gloss be kewl, my lip gloss be popping ~*~ Lil Mama n Avril lavigne ~*~in THE REMIX
99%. Have sex with the 1%.
YOU’RE TEARING ME APART, LISA. JASON DERULO. Rutt? LEEROOOOY JENKINS.
^Did he just go in there? DAMMIT LEROY!
100. Go back to studying
101. I’m done biatchhhhhh
101. A rose by any other name… would be named something else
102. I just had sexxxxxx, and it fellltt so good.
103. AAAAALWAYS I WANT TO BEEEE WITH YOU. AND MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU. AND LIVE IN HARMONY. HARMONY. OOOOHH LOOOOVE.
104 (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
105. Does anyone want to go to 7-11 with me in 5 minutes? I’m wearing a blue hat.THIS IS NOT CRAIGSLIST GET OUT OF HERE So you’re down? asl.45 CAMBRIDGE your mind.

THIS IS CRAIGSLIST IN DISGUISE.

what about missed connections? those are good. i’m looking for this guy i made eye contact with on the shuttle this morning. just seeing if you’re out there. i’m pretty sure you were white.

I’ll meet you! Primal scream really just got me going offff 😉 Oh hell yeah, let’s go to 7-11 and buy some condoms.
106. Be picky.If someone isn’t treating you how you want to be treated from day 1, it’s not likely to get much better if they don’t change after 1 warning. End it quickly and move on.
106.5 If it doesn’t hurt try harder – That’s what she said!
107. Do not hook up with, fall in love with, date, or otherwise engage with your roommates. Especially if you have other roommates that don’t want to get caught in it. I see you JYL posting this. [Exception: IncestFest.] (A couple of my blockmates do this. No problems yet. I live in Kirkland) (Blockmates != roommates. Kirkcest is a beautiful thing, awkward romantic/sexual tension that you have to live with for the rest of the year is NOT.) I see you. Double.
Oh god why. Oh nooooo. Kirkland is guilty of this. Greatly.
Truth. Same goes with blockmates. fml. secretblockcest never stays secret. It aint a secret. Save meeeeeeee. I’m surrounded.
108. Kirkland incest! The way to go- what happens at incestfest doesn’t have to stay at incestfest. I’m pretty sure it does, otherwise, that’s just dumb. +1 for Incestfest

109. Don’t lose your virginity in the back of a car aboard the Titanic.or on a snowmobile, but I HAVE A CHILD!
Where to, miss?To draw me like one of your french girls.
110. Don’t have sex. Don’t have sex in the missionary position. Go away TLR, nobody likes you. NOW EVERYBODY TAKE SOME RUBBERS. Safety First!
111. Watch a romantic comedy. COPY WHAT THEY SAY. Seriously.
112. Smell good!!! the guys around here neglect that soo much. Nice smelling guys are the best. +1 (Like!)
113 Don’t get together with the person who left their name and number on the bathroom stall.
Still down for 7-11….Anyone? I am mead
114. Don’t suck dick in a bathroom stall like Brenda Song in the Social Network.I’ve actualy done this. ←- How did this work out for you? He’s my long-term boyfriend now. ←— Props. Brenda Song is so irrelevant. But I’m using her as a case study! Brenda Song is unworthy of your study. YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF BRENDA SONG’S MOUTH. Brenda Song is the only asian Disney Chanel star. Megan Lee is a disney channel artist, Megan Lee is not relevant enough though. Brenda Song is like the skinny asian Raven Simone.

THAT’S SO RAVEN

If she has the same last name and she looks like you, she’s probably your sister. Don’t do it! Or you could just both be Asian That’s extremely insensitive, asswipe.
115. Hugs from behinddddd TRUTH. Then you don’t have to see her face! (Rude)wow way to ruin the moment.
116. long distance is not for everyone.
117. Spend all day in bed together at least once. YES. +1 Also take naps together!!

118. People need to stop trying to make +1 happen. -1 FETCH IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Is butter a carb? #mydadtheownertoasterstrudel #yougoglenncoco
119. Actually make eye contact. it sounds silly but it rarely happens here.
120. Join a circlejerk. Or read this googledoc. Virtual circle
-jerk
121. Serenade her with Jonas Brothers m. Seranade hER wiTh jUstin BieBer. usic.Serenades period!! Boys who can sing and play instruments = HOTTIE. OH GGAWD OHOHOHOHOHOH
122. Dress like Santa hohoho. Punch her in the nose and call her rudolph
123. Care. aw <3
124. Jerk or Dougie Dance (

KATE UPTON, ah) sessions. People need to stop using sesh as a word. Thank you. Cat Dadddyyyyyy, Call me Spongebob, stackin Krabby patties. I take it down Too true!
125. learn how to dance, like for realz.
Finish the story below!
Once upon a time, there was a troll living in the quad…
NEVER THE QUAD
Hey
good calll rose
Good call. 🙂
swag, rose.
there’s revision history
i think this paper is ready to turn in now
126. Show her that you can move it like Bernie.
move it like bernieee. no arm movement. swing the chest head back
127. Make a cs50 project that brings people from across campus onto a doc (like this one) to talk about relationships, but not anonymously. +dundermifflINFINITY
Just found Rose wang on fb—hottiee (ROSE WANG IS A HOT KOALA)
^stalker, ewwwwwww
^^cool story, bro
grrrrrrrrrr
Teeeeell meeeee.
127. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
its 1:43 am the night before finals HELPING ROSE!
^This fuckin guyyyyy. Kid loves to get sauced
128. Hold hands with your fingers interlaced. that’s how you do it when you’re in love.
129. http://bluecentric.com/?p=26948 ←— SOOO CUTE<3 (+1) Hey, Crimson people, get FlyBy to do a post on this Sure Fuck flyby +5 (why the hate?) If you have to ask its too late—thats what i learn i lifeeee ^ Rude (agreed) Disagree 130) Find the mythical clitoris. Not real! (oh.... IT'S REAL) (hell yeah it's real lol) it has wings and is shaped like a unicorn. 131) Read "She Comes First". Look it up on HOLLIS. Seriously. This should be mandatory for straight males. ^TRUTH If your hand is as big as your face you have a rare face condition. Doh! Got me again! 132) Also, for straight females, there's "He Comes Next", but Harvard doesn't have a copy. (sad^) Check out the video below this one!

summary of the doc:

133) In regards to pursuing a relationship, DO NOT be a creep, try and avoid creepiness as much as possible. It ruins your case Dont follow people to locations and pretend to be friends to try and get in dere. Im looking at you SP. you know it. man. Samir Patel, you so creepppyyyy man. 134) Paint face blue, declare love in Latin, fight for FREEEEEEEEEEjEEEEDOM!m. 136. Ask a girl AYEAYEAEYEYAYAYAYYAYHOOOHOHOHO out on a date!! yes real dates! so important 137. buy the girl stuffed pandas. no wait fly in a panda from china for her RED PANDAS! YESSS TO THE PANDAS no tie dye colored pandas!!!!!! [red pandas are a species of panda, naturally red and are seriously cute] FLY IN A BRIDE FROM CHINA 138. Stop staring across the room and talk to her alreadyyyy (also if you’ve been doing that awkward eye contact/say hi deal forever, you should probably interact at some point beyond that) 139. all the girl really wants is PBJ Time. bananas in pajamas? PBJ and baseball bat. bats… Do you ever get the feeling that you’re being watched, and it gives you an erection? how about the other way around. So true! Me in Lamont right now! wait wait me too! Third floor? to real. I always knew I wasn’t alone! ;( 😉 >;-)P
140. sexcellence
141. Put in some effort. A little work goes a long way in a relationship. +1
142. tell the girl she’s beautiful & mean it!
143. seriously just ask the girl out to something goddamnititttttt. go on a non harvard date
144. Seriously, just say when the guy asks you out goddamnittttttttt
145. take med school and law school men and especially biz school guys with caution. they think they’re the shit. cuz we are!! <—(just made the statement true)
^ Damn those attractive biz school rugby men. (seriously though)
169. 69 again

Hi, this is President Drew Gilpin Faust. I hope you all are enjoying your evening.I am flattered you all find me attractive! This is part of a new capital campaign I have going, which I encourage you to take part in. I hope some of you are in the new I-lab right now, innovating. Making things (sexythangs). I think we can all agree that we should all occupy our minds here at Harvard. And that’s what we do. Hopefully by 2020 we can get every Harvard student on this Google doc. That is my dream (a la Obama?_). If you would like to see me smile, then please go speak with our Allston neighbors. They really are rather friendly after a while! This is part of my social campaign. I hope by 2030 all Harvard students will have 3 friends outside their roommates. That is my dream. (LOL)

YOU GO DREW. LIVE THE DREAM
Rose Wang, you should seriously ™ this thing. Campus-wide googledocs are pretty epic, although we need a troll blocker…..no font bigger than a certain size…an area where you can put in pictures without messing everyone up….also block footnotes….. (AND WE SHALL CALL IT SIMULDOC). <— ingenious... . I like the name.
cs50 project? i want to!!! Your children say hi. Iceeeee

The plan for Simuldoc:
1. troll blocker
2. font limit, limited font capabilities
3. pictures apear on the side of the document
4. no footnotes
5. no editing what someone else wrote, unless you are the troll blocker/

I don’t know that can be part of the fun, haha 🙂 overseer/Rose Wang

who gets to be the trol blocker?

how is that decided and passed on?
Probably whoever is running the site. cs50 TFs. They deserve some power. Mark Zuckerberg.]
heres an idea so its a site where you create a doc (much like this was done) but you get to select what rules will be applied to the doc and you can choose to be the guardian/// But then there’s the problem of getting people on the doc. If it’s one per day, then everyone on campus would go on the same one, unless there were categories.
hmm…
ps i think this is more productive then hack harvard has ever been
they should have google doc meetings
^ That might end in chaos. Making it not anonymous would help significantly.
yes. there is something nice to anonymity. people are

^i miss this

6.
stop trying to make “simuldoc” happen.
^ Rude

HSA BOSSSSS
Darth Rosaaaaaa

A poem/rap/magnum opus for Rose Wang: <— someone should do this
Rose,
I will avoid using flowers in this thing

rose i see you trolling with your math

Lil B was here

^^love it
200.) Take a gourd. Figure out the rest from there.
enn
tht was me

Sketchy.
200) Only do anal if you’re in the shower. Always wear flip flops in the shower. Only steal street signs when you’re really drunk and egged on by roommates.
201) Vaginal sex is sometimes as good as normal sex. No comprendo… Sometimes. elaborate please….

How many times is it okay to have sex with your girlfriend before she can look at you after?