Harper's Bazaar's Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids

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For months we've been asking ourselves, why are the fashion spreads in Harper's Bazaar actually fun? First they get the Simpsons people to do an entire like 13-page spread featuring Versace gowns modeled on cartoons, then they got those little children to dress up like Donatella Versace and Olivier Theyskens...and now this month, well, we just have to show you. Where's the con? How does any of this awesome, quirky irreverent shit appeal to the people who actually buy stuff? But we think we figured it out with the March issue, which boasts photo shoots featuring Lindsay Lohan and Frances Bean Cobain and sundry supermodels dressed up as Evita, Wonder Woman, Beauty & The Beast...and much much more.. It's a desperate appeal to hook your kids! Those Harper's demos aren't getting any younger.



Grease: I know little kids love this movie because my sister wouldn't stop singing "Tell Me More" when she was going through a "naughty" thing. That was the same year she kept peeing in a shoebox in her room. She was four. They all think they're gonna be sluts when they're four.

Illustration for article titled iHarpers Bazaar/is Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids
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And that's when the "nun" phase starts! It's like the first sign of self-hate.

Illustration for article titled iHarpers Bazaar/is Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids
Illustration for article titled iHarpers Bazaar/is Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids

And what little girl doesn't at some stage want to be a populist dictator?

Illustration for article titled iHarpers Bazaar/is Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids
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Okay, Wonder Woman, duh, evergreen. Who isn't still kind of obsessed with Linda Carter?

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The second sign of self-hate: that movie that prepares all young girls to settle for the first jerk with back hair willing to marry them.

Illustration for article titled iHarpers Bazaar/is Nefarious Scheme To Talk To Your Kids

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DISCUSSION

mehblahpfft
MehBlahPfft

@mystery_bouffe: Fuck, I would learn and perform the role of Evita and sing that bitches praises unto the ends of the earth if it meant I could lick just one of that man's rippling abdominal muscles...