Hannah Bronfman Accidentally Doused With Wine Before a DJ Gig But Don't Worry, Everything Is Fine

Hannah Bronfman, wellness/fitness influencer, author, and quasi celebrity DJ (as well as an heir to the Seagrams fortune via grandfather Edgar Bronfman Sr.), recently had a level-three nightmare mishap: On Friday night, before a DJ gig at a W Hotel in D.C., a server allegedly spilled an entire tray of red wine on her Zac Posen dress (I could not locate the exact garment but similar, more casual styles retail for around $600-$900, via his website).

A tiny red wine mishap is bad enough; I personally know people (NOT ME, OTHER PEOPLE) who have attended adult wine gatherings that seemed to have proceeded uneventfully, only to arrive home and find a tiny dot of an unremovable Malbec stain on the cuff of a sleeve or, worse, the toe of a suede or canvas shoe. But an entire tray of red wine, on a designer dress presumably made of a fine textile, right before a very public hotel disc jockey gig attended by Queer Eye grapefruit-and-oil whisperer Antoni Porowski and including a performance by one of my absolute favorite musicians, Amber Mark? Utter nightmare.

When I picture it, my mind automatically reverts to a slow-motion image of a man with a tiny moustache, wearing a crisp button-down shirt, slipping on a #branded napkin and dumping six glasses onto the front of the Posen, as mouths of bystanders dramatically flap open, molecules of wine suspended in the air as though directed by Christopher Nolan or Ang Lee. This scene, purely invented in my brain, is obviously soundtracked by Imogen Heap—“Hide and Seek,” of course—but maybe the Tiesto remix version, since this all occurred at a stylish hotel in a post-Vegas-EDM epoch.

Thank goodness, however, that none of this was as disastrous as it could have been. According to Page Six:

“The hotel [went] into a frenzy to help and ultimately was able to get the stain out with club soda,” said a source.

In photos following the alleged incident, the dress seems perfectly pristine, and Bronfman was alleged to have played “Spill the Wine” by Eric Burdon & War in her DJ set, signaling that everything is fine. Thank fucking god, dude. [Page Six]

Keanu Reeves continued his streak as a mid-career mensch this week when he surprised a family in Slidell, Louisiana, who had planted a “YOU’RE BREATHTAKING” sign in their front lawn—a reference to a statement Reeves made at an XBox press conference in June. Reeves, who was filming Bill & Ted Face the Music “up the street,” pulled up to the curb, wrote “Stacey, you’re breathtaking” and autographed the sign, and then took a nice flick with Stacey and her sons.

This is nice, and all I can say is that I truly hope something shitty or nefarious does not ever emerge about our guy, because I don’t think the internet could really handle it. [Us Weekly]

• Mackenzie Ziegler is coming for your Air Pods. [TMZ]
• Kim Kardashian took some time out from calling her friend Jared Kushner to free A$AP Rocky to Insta her sons. [People]
• Meanwhile, Kylie Jenner is supposedly “sending only positivity” to Jordyn Woods, which sounds shady to me. [Perez]
• Megan Thee Stallion is not having Future’s busted-ass attempt to make “Hot Boy Summer” happen. [Bossip]
• Delilah Hamlin, daughter of Lisa Rinna, Instastoried about how going to rehab was “the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.” [E!]