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Gym-Going Man Knows Exactly How to Hit On Women at the Gym

Illustration for article titled Gym-Going Man Knows Exactly How to Hit On Women at the Gym

For those of you who wish you could workout in peace without being interrupted by an, "Excuse me: has anyone ever told you (fill in the blank)" by a well-intentioned but clueless man who just ruined your workout and/or day, rejoice, for a seminal, satirical guide on how to chat to women at the gym awaits, written by a guy who both goes to the gym and also writes for a living.


Via Bullett:

Despite thousands of data points of evidence to the contrary, a lot of men still haven't gotten the idea that the vast majority of women don't want to be hit on at the gym. For them, years of polite but curt patter or preemptive fuck-off-face aren't a case for why they should just shut the hell up and let people go about their business, they're an argument that they need to try harder, as if conquering the interaction with women hurdle is like beating a personal best on the squat rack, (although anyone who knows where the squat rack is, like me, the guy who works out the right way, probably isn't wasting their time at the gym making it a social hour to be honest.)


"Fuck-off face." Comes packaged with Eastern European genes, so.

But I digress: the list itself is the best part. Personal favorites include:

1) Excuse me, are you using this machine?

2) Do you know if someone else is using this machine?

A duo, grouped together like dueling pianos. And:

9) Was that guy hitting on you? What a skeeveball, unlike me, the guy who knows how to talk to women.

(Enjoy the remaining components after the link.)

Image via Shutterstock


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This is why I refuse to go to the gym. I do yoga and crunches on my living room floor twice a day and walk/hike in the spring/summer/fall months. I just..can't...stand... being stared/gawk at and hit on despite my wedding ring, in the fugging gym. My teen has a gym membership and she wears her earphones if she's alone but mostly she's with another girlfriend of hers and they both get exhausted with being hit on. Her friend feels bad when she doesn't give her number out (ugh!!) or amuse the guys in chit chat back (even though she doesn't want to). My kiddo has been trying to show her how to handle the number/being hit on issue lately.

Guy: "Wanna get a smoothie after this?"

Daughter: "No thank you. I'm not interested."

Another guy: "Hey what's your number? Maybe we could get together later."

Daughter: "No thank you. I'm not interested."

Looking to her friend "That's how you do it."

Her friend: "But what if they think you're MEAN?"

Daughter: "Pray that they do..."