Guy Arrested For "Masturbating To Ejaculation" On Airplane

Today in People-Are-Awful News, a man was arrested because he “masturbated to the point of ejaculation” while flying on a commercial airplane.

According to The Smoking Gun, 25-year-old Kyle Pearce was flying from Spokane to Denver when he thought it was a good idea to get out his dick and begin wanking. He apparently made no effort to hide this from his fellow passengers, several of whom noticed something was amiss. Said an eighteen-year-old woman seated next to him,

I sat next to a man on a plane who was masterbating [sic]. I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis. He ejaculated & got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time.

A young man seated behind him added,

My friend Zach turned to me and said, ‘That man is masturbating’ and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis and he was. I hit him with my book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom.

Pearce’s previous offenses include extreme bro-ness — he lists his interests on MySpace as “bull riding, music, movies, extreme sports, girls, dirt bikes,and partying” and he likes to pose with beer cans. It’s unclear whether he is a dickflashing aficionado or just really dumb (and gross), but whatever the case, he could receive up to 90 days in jail and a $5,000 fine. Meanwhile, we’ve learned that books are valuable tools for airborne vigilante justice. Take that, Kindle.

We’re Gonna Need A Cleanup In Aisle 18 [The Smoking Gun]
Florida Man Arrested After Female Passenger Claims He Was Masturbating On Plane [NY Daily News]

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