Why are dudes so fast in public restrooms? They're less preoccupied with bathroom cleanliness — and this chart doesn't even include the time spent recoiling in horror at the state in which the last woman left the seat. Click to enlarge.
Dude, what the fuck? I never do the paper on the seat, or squat, nor do I worry about touching the flusher with my hand or even the fucking door. And I haven't died of any horrible diseases and I don't get sick any more frequently than anyone else I know.
Seriously. This germ paranoia has got to stop. Just wash your hands. You're fine. In fact, microbial exposure is great practice for your immune system!
I'll grant you that some bathrooms are particularly horrifying, so it's not like I've never done these things (bar bathrooms, what the fuck) but a vast majority of the time I just don't bother.