Did you guess the butt? Because it's totally the butt. That's where everyone has a secret tattoo that they show only two people in the world. But what two people?

First off, the fact that Judi Dench has only showed her famed butt tattoo to only two people suggests that Judi Dench is either currently celibate despite being in recent relationships or that she is a never-nude and even takes showers in a jumpsuit. I would prefer to think it's the latter, but considering that she a) has a butt tattoo and b) showed it to Harvey Weinstein and Oprah while dining at a very fancy restaurant none of us would be able to get into, it's probably just safe to say that Dame Judi is a complicated person with a lot of interesting stories.


The tattoo allegedly says "J.D. loves H.W." (which is wrong, because J.D. only loves Turk) and was inked onto her gloriously pale posterior in thanks for everything that Weinstein has done for her. Which is a lot. Hey, if some dude that half of Hollywood hates helped me make millions and live comfortably for the rest of my life, I'd probably get his name tattooed on my ass, too and tell him it's for "the guy who has everything." Hell, I considered getting a taco man tattooed on myself so that I could get free Mexican food for life, so my price is low if anyone is interested in helping me out.