Great Mystery Of My Life

Let me spin you a yarn. The time: August, 2005. The Place: Canal Street, Manhattan, New York, NY, USA, North America, Earth, The Galaxy. It was late afternoon, very hot, and for those who are not familiar with the crowded knockoff-Coach mecca that is this corner of lower Manhattan, crowded and unpleasant. Anyway, I was trying to walk along a packed sidewalk when my progress was blocked by an altercation between a tourist (I think European) and the older woman who ran the kiosk. Here is what the latter woman was yelling: "You said 'fuck you' to me? You said 'fuck you' to me? Say it again your pants come off! SAY IT AGAIN YOUR PANTS COME OFF!" Then a younger woman came out and held her back...from pulling off her pants?

I have always thought this was the most genuinely threatening insult I've ever heard, even though I've never heard it since and am not sure whether it had a larger meaning. I briefly tried to make it the latest "Don't tase me, bro!" but it was hard to work into conversation, and when addressed to a man could come off as positively lascivious. I reproduce it here in classic America's Most Wanted style, hoping you or someone you know has information. Or, you know, a really bizarre insult.


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