This year's Grammy red carpet was so weird — and so weirdly entertaining — that designations like "good" and "bad" almost seem arbitrary. You'll have to be the judge...although in the case of Nicole Kidman, I'm guessing we'll reach consensus...

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The Good: Don't worry: sparkle-motion was well-represented. Selena Gomez was grown-up glam incarnate.

LeAnn Rimes contrasted sparkle with drape.

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You know I love it when Kim goes pure bombshell.

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Janelle Monae, red-carpet version.

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Heidi Klum reps Old Hollywood.

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Selma Blair continues the run of amazing maternity we've seen in 2011.

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Loving how Margaret Cho's sober romance highlights her ink!

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It's the lines that make Jennifer Hudson's getup.

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Dianna Agron channels "Madame X."

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This isn't my fave of Lea's choices, but let's face it: the dame looks fabulous.

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Anna Nalick's seaweedy exercise in excess is among the evening's best!

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Nicki Minaj does not disappoint. And this should mark the ne plus ultra of the leopard trend.

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To understand the full glory of Florence Welch's symphony of awesome...

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You gotta see the back view!

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Keri Hilson combines eccentric and pure pretty.

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Cyndi Lauper, unbowed, unchastened, unshamed, fabulous.

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The Bad: I'm sorry, this is just unfortunate.

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I'm sure Justin Bieber's a nice kid, but man, he looks like the douchiest Junior prom king in the world in this getup.

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Eva Longoria takes a walk on the harlequin-costume side.

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Skintight and sequins and animal print? A bit Liberace, Miley.

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Amber Riley's normally one of my red-carpet reliables, but this is just too reminiscent of toxic-waste emblems for comfort!

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On the plus side, Kelly Osbourne is probably making her inner five-year-old very, very happy.

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Y'know, I think with a different bodice, Natasha Bedingfield might have pulled this off. What say you?

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I fear J.Lo forgot her pants. Happens to the best of us.

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Someone thinks he's Hunter S.Thompson (as played by Depp.) He ain't.

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If Mya wants to feel like she has poisonous asps crawling up her dress all day, I guess I shouldn't mind...

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Hayley Williams goes for dramatic simplicity. Sorta.

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Jordin Sparks' dress is like a curtain opening on a show that closes after one week of lackluster ticket sales and abysmal reviews.

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Well. I guess we know who's buying that million-dollar Victoria's Secret jewel-encrusted bra. And that last shower curtain at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

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I'll be frank: I kind of love this. But at the end of the day, it's just a little Varsity Blues.

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Then things took a turn for the Burlesque. Exhibit A: Kristine Elejaz.

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And Gram'ma Funk.

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Adrienne Lau.

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And did we mention...Aleesia?