Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Yesterday in London, the Brit Awards were presented at the O2 Arena. Critics found the show bland and boring, but there were a few exciting ensembles on the red carpet.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Justin Timberlake is all grown and sexy now, and taking the "suit and tie" thing seriously, but we will never forget where he came from. Never!

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

The tasty little nuggets of One Direction coordinated without being too matchy. Don't you want to pull Zayn's string? No? Just me? Right.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Mitch Winehouse wore a shirt with an image of daughter Amy. Boy George donned electric blue; Robbie Williams' purple tux is so very rakish.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

More fine British tailoring: Louis Smith, Harley Alexander-Sule and Jordan Stephens, and a gentleman named Labrinth.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

On to the ladies! A cool white coat really pops on Laura Mvula. Hate the neckline but love the rest of the ivory dress on Corinne Bailey Rae. Jourdan Dunn uses yellow as a highlighter, and her legs are the text.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Awkward buttoned-up unflattering sequins is what Gemma Arterton chose to wear. Karis Anderson, Courtney Rumbold, Alex Buggs — aka a group called Stooshe — rocked ill-fitting garments and weird shoes. Perrie Edwards, Jesy Nelson, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Jade Thirwall of Little Mix displayed a variety of hemlines and hairdos.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Laura Whitmore picked something short and shiny, like you'd expect on a music awards red carpet.

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Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards

Rita Ora went for long and shiny, and it was a big ol' mess.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Berenice Marlohe looked every bit the dangerous Bond villain in a much better version of long and shiny.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Paloma Faith was bedazzled, as usual. Love the lipstick.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Fun/funky patterns for Denise Van Outen and Katherine Jenkins.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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More cheerful, vivid hues: Jaime Winstone, A*ME, Zoe Hardman.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Natasha Khan (Bat for Lashes) looks gorge in romantic sheer organza layers. Kinda wish she had a paler color underneath on top, but it's still so pretty.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Feeling blue: Jo Whiley, cementing The Leg as the red carpet accessory of the moment; Caroline Flack in, um, a cape?

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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There was quite a bit of black on this red carpet. Long, but showing skin: Delilah, Jessie Ware.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Way-too-casual black on Lana Del Rey. Gladiator black on Preeya Kalidas. Morticia Addams black on Iggy Azalea.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Hard to see, but Emeli Sandé 's dress has cute tuxedo-inspired ruffles. And dig the swoopy almost-victory-rolls in her hair! (PS, so into her song "Next To Me")

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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We're still seeing a lot of sheer/illustion/mesh/nude/see-through on gowns, and Rebecca Ferguson is proof.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Classy, beautiful, simple but dramatic black on Jessie J.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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Ew, not a fan of the sheer black situation on Ashley Roberts. Well, maybe if she was in St. Barth and was wearing it as a beach coverup.

Illustration for article titled Gowns Were Sexy, Chic and Shitshow Shiny at the Brit Awards
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The sheer panels on Taylor Swift's gown are less offensive. And this might be one of TSwizzle's best ensembles lately. Black contrasts great with blonde hair, her makeup is fab, and the gold belt is a perfect punctuation point holding it all together. Thanks to the wind, she doesn't look all robot flawless. Sexy, tousled windswept Tay FTW.

Images via Getty and AP.

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DISCUSSION

Normally I scroll pretty quickly past the dude snaps, but one of those boy bandlets is wearing brown oxfords without socks on the red carpet. This cannot go unrebuked. I rebuke thee, whichever One of the Directions you are. Consider yourself rebuked.