Got Stank? Nullo May Help

Illustration for article titled Got Stank? Nullo May Help

Nullo Internal Deodorant Capsules just might be the best thing ever. Originally formulated for those with colostomies, Nullo has taken off in two other niche markets: Hunters and sex fiends! With just one little pill taken twice a day (and approved — or close enough — by the F.D.A, to boot), Nullo promises to take all the stank out of your bod. Which is just the thing you need if you are a hunter and you don't want your prey to smell you coming. Interestingly, the majority of testimonials on the Nullo website aren't from hunters, but from average Joes (and Janes) looking for a little morning nooky, but fearing a little morning breath might render them cock or pussy-blocked. The one lone testimonial from a Nullo-using hunter and a bunch from a whole lotta other stinky folk, after the jump.


A hunter:

I shot this deer with a muzzleloader after eating Nullo for about 4 days. He walked within 50 feet of me and never knew I was around. Eight points and 150 pounds. Wow...Thanks Nullo!


One lady whose boyfriend went "downtown" for what seems to be the first time ever:

I recently started using your product... I would just like to say thank you. They work wonders! Before, my boyfriend used to complain, but now, our sex life has improved tremendously. No complaints, he just gets right to it. I can not express my gratitude enough.

Another chick writes:

My boyfriend and I love to sleep in on the weekends. Only one problem. Morning breath! After taking Nullo, we have both noticed that even without brushing, our breath was not unpleasant in the mornings. This allows us to stay in longer and thats always a good thing. Thanks.


An equal-opportunity stinker:

I work out a lot, but I can't go to the gym. I used to smell so bad from my body odor that it made me too uncomfortable to be around women. After taking Nullo, I noticed a change within days. I've seen an even bigger change in my self-esteem. I just renewed my yearly membership to the local gym.


A man with food issues

My wife used to complain when I would take my shoes off after a long day at work. In fact, she has thrown out probably eight pairs of shoes. After taking your product, the only thing that was thrown out was the foot odor. Thank you Nullo for saving my feet and my wallet.


Um, and your marriage?

So, is there anyone out there being helped by Nullo who isn't just trying to kill something or get laid? (Or trying to kill something and get laid?) Yeah: Dogs.

My dog loves to roll around in all kinds of things. I can't stop her from becoming dirty but I can stop the smells that linger on after her bath. After giving her Nullo, I noticed a change in her smell and it has also cleared the bad breath. Thank you Nullo and keep up the great work.


So says one happy pet owner. Says another:

I wanted to write and let you know how I am using your product "Nullo" in my veterinarian practice. I use it on dogs with skin disorders that give off an offensive odor. I use it twice daily and have had good results. In my uses, I have found Nullo safe and effective, by controlling odors in my canine patients.


Well, we're sold! It's one thing for a hunter to take home the big game and a slutty girl to get laid. But if it can deodorize a mangy dog, it's clearly a miracle product.


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Rooo sez BISH PLZ

@andromache: It just means that we floss.

All the chlorophyll in the world can't take away the stank breath if you're skeered to go to the dentist and refuse to floss.

(I've found a surprising number of macho boys whine at regular dental maintenance. Why is that?? I go every 6 months because there's periodontitis in my family and my dentist is a HOTTIE.)

@socalsnarkstress: Try it roasted instead. You still get all the immune-boosting allicin. And FLOSS after.