Good Crime Hat, Aunt Becky

Aunt Becky is currently awaiting her fate in the ongoing college admissions scandal and news flash—she’s looking good while doing it.

A refresher: Lori Loughlin and her husband, the Target fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, pleaded not guilty to paying a $500,000 bribe to secure her daughters, the Instagram influencer Olivia Jade and the other one, enrollment at USC. Reasonably, Aunt Becky has been laying low as her trial looms, which means she’s only been photographed out and about a few times. From what I can gather, on her last two outings, she’s elected to wear the same large, off-white canvas hat tied directly underneath her chin to obscure her widely recognizable face.

It’s an excellent crime hat. Villains don’t wear beige.

June 21, 2019

Loughlin’s very good crime hat first made an appearance last month, when the actor attempted to hide from a photographer who spotted her exiting a nail salon in Beverly Hills. Call me crazy, but if you have half-a-mil to spend on getting your kids college access, shouldn’t you be able to afford to have someone come to your house to do your nails? Or request some special off-hours treatment? I don’t know, y’all, but her defenses did work… slightly:

She’s style, she’s grace, she would’ve blended in better if she hadn’t stolen Where’s Waldo?’s shirt.

July 15, 2019

Loughlin wasn’t spotted again until Monday, nearly a month after the initial hat sighting. She was photographed grabbing lunch with some girlfriends in Los Angeles, according to Hollywood Life. (Get your shit catered, dude!) Around the same time, a source close to her apparently told the tabloid:

“Lori and Mossimo are depending on their lawyers to get them out of this mess. Lori feels confident that her lawyers will find some loophole or some mistake made by the authorities… Lori and Mossimo are looking for a Hail Mary when it comes to their case and fighting it will buy them some time to have their lawyers figure something out to get them out of it all. It’s an uphill battle for sure, but they are confident after speaking with their team that they will win. And if all else fails, they can still do the whole appeal process.”

That’s nice and all, but where did she get the hat? What brand is it? Summer is here and I need protection, too.