Glee: Awful Adoption Plot, Now With More Taboo Romance

This week’s Glee featured an enjoyable new character, some solid performances, and a long-awaited milestone in Brittany and Santana’s relationship. However, to paraphrase Gandalf, it’s essential that fans hate and love the show, as they hate and love themselves, so the writers also had the already-terrible adoption story take a turn for worse.

I didn’t watch The Glee Project and I expected that having one of the show’s multiple winners shoehorned into every other episode would be a season lowlight. However, I actually found Damian McGinty pretty charming — and it’s a good thing because Irish exchange student Rory Flanagan dominated the episode. Being tied into one of Brittany’s ridiculous delusions definitely made him more endearing. Rory is staying at Brittany’s house, and she believes that he’s a leprechaun who can grant wishes. In an effort to get at her “pot o’ gold,” Rory makes her dream come true by presenting her with an all-marshmallow box of Lucky Charms and making it appear that Lord Tubbington poops candy bars.

Following an entirely random performance of “Last Friday Night” by Blaine (which was probably inserted because Broadway numbers have lead to dismal iTunes sales this season), Santana recognizes New Directions is turning into the Blaine and Rachel show and decides to join Mercedes in The Troubletones. The only problem is that she feels she has to be around to watch out for Brittany because, “That special place where she lives, yeah, it’s beautiful, but someone’s gotta help her cross the street.” As usual, Santana finds a way to get what she wants using manipulation. She has Rory pressure Brittany to leave New Directions by telling her that Santana wants to join Shelby’s glee club, and as a leprechaun, he’s contractually obligated to grant her wish too.

The girls defect and along with Mercedes they put on a performance of “Candyman” that’s more enjoyable than the original. (Actually I’m not that familiar with the Christina Aguilera version, but it’s pretty much impossible to beat that trio dancing around in adorable ’40s outfits.) There’s also major progress in the relationship of our favorite sapphic cheerleaders: In addition to Brittany sending Santana Lord Tubbington-themed love notes, the girls discuss the state of their relationship during dinner at (where else?) Breadstix. Santana asks if they’re dating and Brittany says, “Isn’t this a date? Aren’t you paying, because I ordered shrimp?” Santana sheds a few tears of joy and they hold hands (under a napkin).

On to the lamentable adoption storyline, which has already sparked an angry petition. After convincing Shelby to let her and Puck babysit, Quinn plants items around Shelby’s apartment to make it look like she’s planning to sacrifice Beth and/or pump her full of Botox. Then she calls CPS, assuming this will get Beth back because when babies are taken from their mothers they’re usually placed back with the unemployed teens who put them up for adoption. (We also learn Quinn suddenly wants Beth because she can’t think of anything to do post-graduation.) Puck and Shelby bond while taking care of Beth, and decided to remove any items that would suggest her home is a baby death trap.

Then incredibly, the story gets even more ridiculous when Puck and Shelby kiss. The writers dug themselves into a hole with the whole adoption thing, and apparently they think recycling a plot from season one of Dawson’s Creek will make it better.