'Glamour' Iraq Blogger Annoyed By American Media's Lack Of Substantive... OMG NICOLE RICHIE CRASHED HER CAR!!!

Illustration for article titled 'Glamour' Iraq Blogger Annoyed By American Media's Lack Of Substantive... OMG NICOLE RICHIE CRASHED HER CAR!!!

Glamour war blogger — yeah, Glamour has a war blogger, but she is not, of course, at war any longer, just like dating blogger Alyssa Shelasky doesn't actually date, or blog about dating — anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Captain KJ! Captain KJ blogs for Glamour about the Iraq war, except she doesn't have much to say, because she is no longer there and the media's coverage is so superficial:

I know that there's a lot more out there, but the news isn't adequate to tell you the whole story... Back when we'd watch the news segments about the debate over the war, from our media center in Baghdad, we were always surprised by how out-of-touch everyone seemed... All these discussions of hypothetical solutions that were obviously not going to work... So much of the situation there was just about trying to keep a handle on a situation that is always threatening to spiral out of control.


And so in honor of Captain KJ, and our troops, ten of whom died on Memorial Day, we thought we would... excerpt from Nicole Richie's Memorial Day barbecue invitation!!

My fellow Americans its that time of year To celebrate our country by drinking massive amounts of beer Let's stand together as one, live the American dream Take shots, pass out, & wake up with our pants ripped open at the seems Let's glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of tsubi jeans Even though we have no fucking clue what Memorial Day really means!!

(Read the rest after the jump).

Mashas House Sunday May 28th, at 2pm XXXXX Crest Court Beverly Hills, Ca 90210

There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!

Ha ha! If your goal was to get Mischa to eat so little she passed out at the mere sight of a Svedka bottle, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, Nicole! You win! Little terrorist!
Nicole's Shocking Email Invite [InTouch]
Captain KJ [Glamour]



See, I think this is a biting satire of our superficial times. Nicole Richie has probably discovered academic pursuits and will henceforth be one of the country's leading ironic commenters on societal and global affairs, à la Noam Chomsky.

Yeah, that *must* be it.

Also, you're a blogger for Glamour and you're upset that the media's superficial?