Sometimes we wonder why many of the tips so breathlessly recounted in Glamour — like "eat vegetables" (p. 154), "sunburns are unhealthy" (p. 129-146), and "if you have really big tits you will look kind of slutty in a string bikini" (p. 106) — are the type of things you our moms told us when we were like, ten*. We wonder no more. The gimlet eyes here at Jezebel have detected evidence in the latest issue — HOT OFF THE PRESSES, MIND YOU! — that suggests Glamour editor-in-chief Cindi Leive is motherless, like Brooklyn!
The story, of course, is still developing, but, seeing that May is Mom month for the magazine, and that Cindi decided to devote her entire editor's letter to adorable pictures of staffers' moms (editorial assistant Kristin Koch's MILF? Zowie!) it's curious that Cindi herself chose to show a photo of her stepmother (see accompanying photo) rather than her mother.
Don't get us wrong. Notwithstanding the page's opening line — the type of pithy, mildly-misogynist quote you'd expect from a homo like Oscar Wilde! — the feature is total eye-candy, with fashion assistant Karen Day's mom even interrupting our usual interior monologue of "Need to post! Need to post! Oh look, CHOCOLATE! God, I'm so fat!" with an involuntary "Awwwwww!". But we would have appreciated a little something from Cindi regarding the mom/not-mom discrepancy. An "I was adopted!" maybe, or even a "My bitch mom got my rich dad to write me out of the will; hence this sell-out gig at Conde Nast!" Something.
This is Glamour, after all! It's the year 2007! There's no such thing as TMI! Give us girls a little!
*Only our mom liked to refer to tits as "bosoms", natch, and also told us that if we popped zits in our T-zones it would somehow cause brain damage, which we would say she was right about, if we didn't credit alcohol for doing that already. Why don't women's magazines address the T-zone brain damage connection? Not to mention, you know, how macroeconomic trends have fostered the rise of religious extremism and shit?