Giving Birth Just Got A Lot More "Glamorous"

Illustration for article titled Giving Birth Just Got A Lot More "Glamorous"

Don't mind the placenta: Childbirth is about to get a "fashionable" makeover. And by "fashionable" we don't mean that another size-0, label-worshipping celebrity is going to defy the fertility odds (gods?) and get herself knocked up with a Mini-Me just in time for the spring collections. We mean that the act of giving birth itself has caught the eye of the fashion industry. According to a press release sent to a fashion blogger friend last Friday, a new company called Binsi is manufacturing "posh and precious skirts, tops and robes to labor in"... so that "loyal fashionistas" can feel more like themselves. (Meaning: not naked?) And the clothes are compatible with medical equipment! We took a look at Binsi's website, where we found the following gem, from one Dr. Patrick Finnegan, OB/GYN:

Birth is easier when the mother feels more confident and comfortable. Products like Binsi are a wonderful way to help women feel more like themselves, and less focused on the medical aspects of the experience.

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"Confident and comfortable"? None of us have ever given birth, so perhaps we're talking out of our asses (vaginas?) but, we're pretty sure that the words "confident" and "comfortable" aren't in the vocabulary of laboring or soon-to-be laboring mothers. (At least until the epidurals kick in.) As our blogger friend put it: "The end times are near. We are no longer allowed to have any moment in which we are not sexualized. Even at the ultimate conclusion of sex. I feel like that fact that a woman created this makes it even more horrific. Why do we do this to each other? No man would conceive of this product." True. Now we're going to ask her what she thinks about New Mommy Makeup!

Birth In Binsi
Related: New Mommy Makeup [Glamour]

DISCUSSION

When I gave birth to my son, I shit all over myself and my nurses. Oh yeah, there was also blood and a baby's head coming out of my vagina.

Did I give a damn that my husband was seeing me at my absolute most unattractive moment ever? Fuck no.

Did I for a moment consider whether or not the hospital gown made me look fat or not, or if it was bad with my (beet red) complexion. Again - fuck no.

I was way to busy staring at my focal point and trying to breathe through the god awful pain.

Despite all that grossness, my husband maintains that it was one of the most beautiful moments in his life!

Also, I'll be giving birth anyday now. I did purchase new pj's and a robe for the hospital stay. They're cheap, comfy, and solid navy because I know I'll be bleeding through diaper-sized maxi pads for a couple of weeks. The sexiest of nighties ceases to be so sexy with a giant blood stain on the ass.

Unless your into that??? Ugh...