Female bullies in the workplace, like particularly insidious farts, are silent but deadly, according to the Financial Post. They often use passive aggressive tactics like "little insulting jokes and putdowns, the cold shoulder, those subtle but degrading comments and deliberate humiliation, all designed to eat away at the person's self-esteem." And the Post notes that while male bullies are equal opportunity offenders when it comes to gender, female office bullies target other women 70% of the time. In addition, when men are the offenders, it's more easily seen as harassment, but when a woman is bullying another woman, the Financial Post says, it's "perceived by many as a 'personality' issue."One of the women, Lynda Cuddy, who was a target of girl-on-girl workplace bullying said, "You tend to expect women to have more empathy and compassion, but she didn't have it. And when she seemed to, it wasn't genuine." And the evil female boss used this perception to her advantage: "the 'compassion' was likely nothing more than her fishing for personal information to identify Ms. Cuddy's vulnerabilities," the Financial Post notes. Be very, very wary of anyone at a new job who wants to me your omg bff within five seconds of your joining a company. They're generally not to be trusted. Which is not to say that you shouldn't be friends with people at work, just be cautious, as many of us have been burned by allegedly friendly co-workers. The Financial Post also suggests that if you think you're getting bullied at work, get absolutely everything in writing. "Document and log everything — gather facts. - Get it in writing. E-mails are better than voice mail. Avoid communicating with the bully when there is no witness. - For behind the closed-door bullying — do some detective work," the Post advises. "Try to gather as many specifics as possible as to what's been said. - Be professional and calm in all communication with the bully, human resources or management. Stick to the facts, present a business case of the cost of the bullying to the employer." The sad thing is, 77% of the time bullies go on to bully, and the targets lose their jobs, the Post notes. Quebec and Saskatchewan have already put anti-bullying laws on the books and Ontario is considering such a law. In the meantime, if you think you're being bullied, follow the advice above and be professional, but make sure to have a paper trail. No Sisterhood At Work [Financial Post] Earlier: Bullies Are As Common In The Cubicle As The Classroom Related: If The Boss Is Young And Male, Watch Out [NYT]
Both this post and the other post regarding women not getting ahead in the workforce by hard work, rather by self-promotion, are hard for me to read.
I did all the classic stuff they tell you is wrong. Worked long hours without informing anyone. Always gave everyone credit during work presentations, even for the slightest help. And I was constantly bullied by someone below me, for reasons entirely unknown. The boss had a crush on this woman, so she would spend lots of time in his office, totally backstabbing me and telling me how awful I was at work. She would refuse to do her JOB, if part of those duties involved stuff that *I* needed for my job.
I quit, in tears. And kicking myself for not really knowing how to break the cycle. To this day, I'm not really sure what I could have done to break the bullying. A lot of our job depended on verbal communication. Any request for work I sent via email were ignored.
Anyway, this post hurts.