When I saw leggy Serena van der Woodsen swilling martini after martini in the Gossip Girl pilot, I knew that my love for the teen drama would be a deep and nuanced love. As the series has progressed, the martini use has doubled — nay, tripled — per episode. So I decided to count the number of martinis downed by the collective cast in last night's episode, which centered around Blair's famed slumber party of the century.

Martini Count:
Jenny: 2
Token black friend: 2
Token Asian friend: 2
Nameless blond #1: 2
Nameless blond #2: 2
Blair: 2
Total: 10
Why would anyone think this show is inappropriate for kids? It's teaching them to aspire to top shelf early!