Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Giant Dancing Walrus Should Win Custody of Jackson Children

I... okay. So this was first posted in March, but only now has it hit maximum viral capacity. And why not? What better way to Gorilla Glue the torn-asunder Jackson family unit back together than the well-trained swagger* of a large-flippered marine mammal† in Troy Aqua Park and Dolphinarium in Belek, Turkey? There is none. Reconciliation is imminent.


*Incidentally, the walrus' Latin name, Odobenus rosmarus, means "tooth-walking sea cow." Could also double as (A) a Shakespearean insult or (B) grounds for divorce.


†Don't try to walk for at least 5 minutes after you watch this because you've been hit by, you've been struck by, the smoothest tooth-walking sea cow.

[via Viral Viral Videos]

Share This Story

Get our newsletter


RaisedByHeathens Orange Meanie-Pants

Dolphinarium? Cool word or coolest word?