Getting Knocked Up "Accidentally On Purpose" Is All The Rage In London

Illustration for article titled Getting Knocked Up "Accidentally On Purpose" Is All The Rage In London

The Times of London has an article about women in their thirties who get pregnant "accidentally on purpose," meaning they have unprotected sex with someone they think is "good father material" without the dude knowing their intentions. The paper talks to a woman named Katya who kept the baby that resulted from a 2 week fling; she is making no demands on the father. "I’m not expecting him to be involved. I’m financially independent, so I know I can give this baby an amazing life," she says. "I will be able to offer a more stable life than some of my girlfriends, who gave up their jobs a decade ago to have children, and who are now in failing marriages and have no independent income.”It's very Maude Lebowski. Obviously the men are agreeing to have unprotected sex, but for these women wouldn't it just be easier to go to a sperm bank if they don't want the father involved? The title of the article is misleading anyway, as many of the women discussed, like Elizabeth Hurley and Scary Spice Mel B. had unplanned pregnancies and it's just public conjecture that their pregnancies were "accidentally on purpose." It also seems like a bit of a sexist urban legend, the idea of aggressive, baby hungry young professionals. But then there are women like Sarah, a 35-year-old editor, who told the Times:

In the past, with other boyfriends, I had been much more careful, but I was in my early thirties and my biological clock was in overdrive. I really, really wanted a baby, and I didn’t have any time to waste. My daughter’s father was clever and good-looking, and I suppose it seemed safer to have an affair with him than a one-night stand. And it was cheaper and a lot more fun than doing it in a clinic…He put pressure on me not to have the baby, but for me, it wasn’t an accident.

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Is this morally suspect or is it ok because the men involved agreed to have condom-free sex? I'm leaning towards the former but would like to hear arguments to the contrary. Women Who Conceive Accidentally On Purpose [Times of London]

DISCUSSION

liz-lemonade
liz.lemonade: She is beyond good and evil.

Last week I listened to a fascinating BBC radio docu about teens who were conceived via a sperm bank. (They were using a new website to find their half-sisters and -brothers.) While the teens praised their mothers for doing a wonderful job raising them, they all desperately wished they could track down their fathers — and these were men who donated sperm knowing a child could result. I can see both sides of the male consent issue debated here, but I do feel bad for the children. Assuming these women slept with someone they didn't know well, then their children will most likely never know their fathers. Whether or not the man deserves to be a father for having condomless sex, I do think the children deserve to know about HIM (and possibly have a relationship if it's mutually desired.)

If anyone's interested, here's the BBC documentary. Well worth a listen. [www.bbc.co.uk]