Get a Restraining Order! And Other Helpful Anti-Abortion Tips For Dads

If you make the mistake of fucking a pro-life dude, don’t tell him if you get pregnant. That’s what we’ve gleaned from Live Action’s advice for wannabe dads on how to force women into giving birth.

Lila Rose’s Live Action is best known for its misleading and fearmongery hidden camera sting operations, but the non-profit also describes itself as a “new media movement for life,” which means its minions blog when they’re not too busy sneaking into Planned Parenthood clinics. Thus, some tips on how to squeeze a baby out of an unwilling lady’s uterus by any means necessary:

Remember that babies are bundles of therapeutic delight. “Having an abortion doesn’t save a relationship, like some people think it will.” This seems like dubious advice. If an abortion can’t save your relationship, a child probably won’t help matters, either.

Pretend it’s not happening. “Don’t give your permission for abortion or help her get one.” An abortion is like a field trip.

Drag her to a crisis pregnancy center. “They can help your girlfriend or wife with a number of things” by providing her with misleading and medically inaccurate information!

Learn the facts. By reading Live Action’s bullshit links to debunked studies that claim all women who get abortions kill themselves.

Mainsplaining 101. Tell her that “Abortion presents its own problems and, often, these problems are much worse than what the woman was already experiencing.” Like a relationship with a troglodyte who wants to bully her into having a kid?

Prescience. “Also consider finding out a girl’s position on abortion before you date her next time.” This tip is mutually beneficial.

Remind yourself that you’re a Nice Guy. “When you try to prevent your wife or girlfriend from getting an abortion, you are being a good dad. Good dads stand up for their children and don’t stand by passively while someone kills their child.” Go home, you’re drunk.

Here’s the delusional baby daddy pièce de résistance: get a restraining order.

“I would recommend that any father look into the options of getting a restraining order against an abortion,” urges the blogger, who describes herself as a “pro-life attorney.” She admits that the law usually doesn’t side with this brand of dick, but “just because one attorney tells you no, doesn’t mean there’s not another one out there willing to help you. After all, the law won’t get changed by everyone sitting back and doing nothing to challenge it.”