Gerard Depardieu Offered Position as Siberia's Minister of Culture

As you may have heard, French actor Gerard Depardieu thought that France’s proposed 75% “super tax” on millionaires was a major Gerard Depar-DON’T, so he said “Gerard Depar-oh-no-you-didn’t!” to that shit and moved his ass to Russia. (Because in Russia, taxes millionaire YOU! Or, wait—zzzzzzzzzzzz.)

Turns out, the relocation is paying off bigtime! Not only did Depardieu already receive a Russian passport and a hug from Vladimir Putin (!!!!!!!!!), he’s also been offered the position of Minister of Culture in Mordovia—a region best known for its Stalin-era gulags (one of which currently houses Pussy Riot’s Nadezhda Tolokonnikova) and affectionately called “The Gateway to Siberia.”

Vladimir Volkov, the region’s head, was quoted by RIA Novosti agency as saying: “If Mr Depardieu desires it, he may be offered the post” after the actor touched down in the capital Saransk for a flying visit. Mr Volkov also offered the Gallic star the chance to settle in the region and choose an apartment or house to live in.

Back in France, Mr Depardieu received support from his ex-wife Elizabeth, who said he had decided to leave the country because “he wasn’t getting enough attention and love”.

In an interview with RTL radio, she said it was wrong to attack an “extremely unhappy” man who is “inconsolable and who is fighting to try to go on living”.

“When someone is as lost as that, should one cast the first stone?,” she asked.

“He can go off the rails, he can say any old rubbish…sometimes there’s the worst in him, but sometimes the best…I don’t understand how one can sum someone up in one act”.

His daughter Roxane said: “My father has been put in the dock like a major criminal, but my father is a man to whom one owes respect and not insults.”

He also peed on a plane once. In conclusion, here is a photograph of a young (hot!) Gerard Depardieu holding a chimp. He is my best friend.