Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

George Clooney And Jennifer Aniston Share Private Jet, Awkwardly Avoid Topic Of Brad Pitt

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George Clooney, Stacy Keibler, Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston shared a private jet—the Glitter Person version of splitting a cab—in Switzerland. Were this an NYU freshman playwright's hastily-penned one-act, they would experience some turbulence and blurt out their long-held secrets, resentments and desires for each other in the panicked moments before collision, but then everything would turn out fine, and they'd safely touch ground with the air cleared and everyone having learned something about friends, lovers, themselves, etc. But it's life, so nothing happened.

Also, Theroux might, supposedly, theoretically, be on the verge of dumping Jen because he hates Los Angeles and wants to reconcile with his ex Heidi Bivens, claims some Theroux-acquainted person. "Justin wants a family. But he doesn't want it with Jen." FUUUUUUUUUU [TMZ, Gather Celebs]


After releasing a bunch of awkwardly-staged photos on vacation in Hawaii which clearly indicate that Megan Fox is pregnant, Brian Austin Green coyly Tweeted "Thank you everyone. We are so happy." He then added, "By the way that last tweet does not confirm or deny anything :)" Yeah, no, that'd be the awkwardly-staged photos, unless Megan Fox just ate really bad shrimp and/or Pepe the King Prawn. [Belfast Telegraph]


One summer jam that Kate Middleton will not be using to pump up during Advanced Abs 'n' Gluts is Lady Gaga's new song "Princess Die." Gaga's been slammed by suicide charities for lines in the song like "I wish that I could cope but I took pills and left a note." Additional lyrics: "Princess Die, I wanna see you cry, and wish that I would go, in my rich boyfriend's limo. Right after he proposed, with a 16-carat stone wrapped in rose gold, with the paparazzi all swarming around." It is clear who inspired this song and it's Paula Poundstone. [Monsters and Critics]


Sexual catnip/ab display case Magic Mike opens today, and this morning it was announced that director Steven Soderbergh and star Chay Tates will produce a stage adaptation of the movie that will theoretically be on Broadway by 2013. Imagine how disgruntled the Chippendales are right now. They've been here the whole time, you guys. (P.S. I read in a book once that a woman got a Chippendale's thong flicked on her during a show and it hit her in the eyes and HER EYELASHES GOT CRABS YOLO.) [Deadline]


The lead producer of the late Nora Ephron's new play "Lucky Guy" will continue with the production, saying he's "committed" to getting her biography of a newspaper columnist to Broadway as planned. Tom Hanks is being considered for the title role of Mike McAlary, a 1998 Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who covered New York police brutality. [Yahoo News]

  • Tay-Tay Swift, America's unicorn, is releasing a new fragrance called Wonderstruck Enchanted. [Contact Music]
  • Meanwhile, Kristen Stewart never wore perfume as a teenager and didn't need to because she naturally secretes a dark, woodsy scent called Sullen Insolence. [Monsters And Critics]
  • Kris Jenner praises Kanye West. [Page Six]
  • Katy Perry wants a career like Madonna's. [Digital Spy]
  • "I would have signed Radiohead," says Elijah Wood. Um, yeah, I would have signed the Beatles, and why are we talking about this? [NME]
  • Lady Gaga paid $136,000 for an Alexander McQueen dress called The Girl Who Lived In The Tree. [Monsters and Critics]
  • "I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum Kardashian," mourns Sharon Osbourne in the friscalating dusklight. [Rolling Stone]
  • Anna Paquin, who is expecting twins with Stephen Moyer, told Redbook in a cover interview that she's not sure what sort of mom she'll be. "I have a side that's very nesty, and another that thinks, ‘Let's lock up the house and go away for five months." Right. So... Anna Paquin is human, feels this is a conflict of interest for motherhood. [Digital Spy]
  • Charlie Sheen and Russell Brand call each other Genius One and Genius Two. [The Sun]
  • On Watch What Happens: Live, Katie Couric played Fuck, Marry, Kill with Andy Cohen: fuck Bryant Gumbel, marry Matt Lauer and kill Dan Rather. [HuffPo]
  • Without further ado, an image entitled "WHAT JAY-Z AND BEYONCÉ MIGHT LOOK LIKE IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE MONEY (AND LIVED IN OHIO)." [Janet Charlton's Hollywood]
  • Sofia Vergara single, in the Hamptons, with a wrench. [Page Six]
  • Doris Singleton, who played nosy Carolyn Appleby on I Love Lucy, has passed away at 92. [SF Gate]
  • Susan Boyle will receive an honory doctorate from a university in Scotland. More importantly, this gif. [Winnipeg Free Press]
  • Emma Stone bakes when she has anxiety. [Toronto Sun]
  • There exists a photo of Andrew Garfield taking a shit. [Express]
  • Jon Hamm felt left out when his friends started having kids. [Monsters and Critics]
  • Paris Hilton hung out with a disabled child. [VH1]
  • Nicki Minaj is Team Drake re: Hymn Of The Bottle Throwing Incident On The Great Shores Of Manhattan's W.I.P. Nightclub: "I don't approve of talented people doing things that aren't conducive to an amazing career. I spoke to Drake and I told him from the bottom of my heart how I felt. I'm like 'Baby, you are a superstar and I need you to realize that.' He did nothing wrong, of course. Rumors are rumors and that's what it is." [BET]
  • The headline of this story is "Selena Gomez's Transylvania Comfort." What even. [Contact Music]
  • Mila Kunis says she'd be online dating if she were a Muggle. [NYDN]