French, British Battle Over G-Spot

In what will surely go down in history as a second Norman Conquest, French scientists have trounced British claims that the g-spot doesn’t exist.

Researchers at King’s College London found that identical twins were no more likely to both report having a g-spot than fraternal twins, suggesting that the spot may not have a genetic basis. But the French spit all over their silly English twin study. Says Sylvain Mimoun, France’s most famous gynecologist (and thus a man ripe for comedic parody), “The English study is barking up the wrong tree. […] It is not a question of genetics but of use.”

Convening at a “G-Day” conference yesterday, many French scientists dismissed British dismissal of the g-spot as evidence of Britain’s overly clinical attitude to sex. According to Lizzy Davies of The Guardian, the French love docs said reports of the g-spot’s death were due to “an Anglo-Saxon tendency to reduce the mysteries of sexuality to absolutes.” Surgeon Pierre Foldès said, “The King’s College study … shows a lack of respect for what women say. The conclusions were completely erroneous because they were based solely on genetic observations and it is clear that in female sexuality there is a variability … It cannot be reduced to a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or an ‘on’ or an ‘off’.”

Indeed, coverage of the British study did seem to downplay the fact that half of the women surveyed did report having a g-spot, and that these women also reported being more satisfied with their sex partners. The researchers also didn’t give the women a definition of the g-spot, and, perhaps most annoyingly, they were only concerned with whether the area could be stimulated by penile-vaginal intercoures. Asks Scicurious, “if the G-spot anatomically exists, who’s to say it can only be stimulated by a penis? Who’s to say the penis is even the most effective instrument for this?”

Gynecologist Odile Buisson basically accused the British of thinking with their dicks: “I don’t want to stigmatise at all but I think the Protestant, liberal, Anglo-Saxon character means you are very pragmatic. There has to be a cause for everything, a gene for everything. I think it’s totalitarian.” I don’t want to stigmatise at all is apparently French for no offense. And Mimoun reminded the conference that there’s more to female sexuality than P in the V: “In discovering the sensitive parts of her own body, this sensitive zone [the G-spot] will become more and more functional. But if she has never touched it and no one else has ever touched it … it won’t exist for her as a consequence.” “I wave my private parts at your aunties,” he added.

French Correct British Scientists: G Spot Does Exist [Telegraph]
French Hit Back After British Attack On G-spot Touches Nerve [Guardian]