France Court Won't Let Parents Name Their Kid 'Nutella'

A baby born in France will not get the chance to be known as a walking and breathing shrine to Nutella, thanks to a judge who ruled babies can’t be named after spreads.

According to La Voix Du Nord (via Time), a court in Valenciennes ruled that a baby girl born in September who was named “Nutella” by her parents needs to have a new name. Because naming a person after food is probably not a good idea for that person in the long run, the court ruled.

“The name ‘Nutella’ given to the child is the trade name of a spread,” the court’s decision read, according to a translation. “And it is contrary to the child’s interest to be wearing a name like that can only lead to teasing or disparaging thoughts.”

This totally ruins all of my life plans to move to France and name my kids Hummus, Spam and Jif Crunchy.

The judge (who is probably just a closet Hershey Chocolate Hazelnut fan or something) renamed the baby “Ella,” when her parents failed to show up for a scheduled court appearance. So to recap: Naming a kid after food in France is a no-go, ~~but naming a kid after a Disney princess is the thing to do.~~ Oh nevermind, there is no Disney princess named Ella. Ella is a lovely name though and certainly more fitting for a princess than “Nutella.” Unless, you are the Princess of the Land of Chocolate in which case it might make sense.