Fox Will Broadcast a Three-Hour Live Version of Grease

Mimicking the success of NBC’s live Sound of Music (and that network’s subsequent plans for a live Peter Pan), Fox is planning their own bastardization of quality work from the musical theater canon by bringing a three-hour Grease Live to the small screen.

In a press release penned by the secret Shakespeare of our time — “Get ready to do the hand jive as FOX enrolls at Rydell High with GREASE LIVE (working title)” — Fox said that this new Grease will air in 2015. It’ll feature a “young ensemble cast” in order to “reintroduce the great music and timeless story to an entirely new generation.” Um…the movie is already on Netflix and airs on television all the time, plus the musical has had multiple theatrical revivals so please don’t be offensive and act as though new generations don’t know about it.

[INSERT FAVORITE GREASE SONG HERE AS PROOF OF THIS STATEMENT. It’s probably “Greased Lighting” but ugh, what a difficult choice. Though not as difficult as when Danny Zucko had to try and be a square to get Sandy back. Man, his life was tough.]

That being said, Grease is an important work that has taught millions of children what a hickey is; if they need to remake the musical once again to make sure this lesson isn’t lost, I’m all for it. Since the casts of American Dreams/the recent remake of Hairspray are probably all too old to be considered young enough for this TV movie (not that that inhibited the casting of the original movie), please insert your casting suggestions here. Please avoid naming Carrie Underwood as Sandy, it’s just too obvious. (We hope? Please, God, not Carrie Underwood as Sandy.)