Brian McKnight, the guy behind the late 90's junior high slow dancing hit "Back at One" is back with a new song they most certainly will not be playing at middle school dances anytime soon: a jam about how looking at anal sex is great. And it's got a nice beat for a discotheque.
The song's actually the latest chapter in a saga you might call Brian McKnight Jizzes All Over His Career. Last month, he released a song calle "If You're Ready to Learn," a slow jam sung from the perspective of a guy who is about to get down (do sex) with a lady who is unfamiliar with the goings on inside her vagina (she doesn't even know that you're supposed to call the outside part a "vulva"). Here's a sampling of the lyrics from that ditty:
I did my postgrad in sociology so what I tell you might seem strange
But things you don't know about your physiology
You don't have to be ashamed.
Let me show you how your pussy works.
Since you didn't bring it to me first
I have lots of things to show you
if you're ready to learn.
I mean, yay for being sex-positive and into women knowing about their vagina parts, but, also: ew.
When porn site YouPorn began promoting the anthem, sales of the single skyrocketed, and McKnight had a modest joke hit on his hands. And as a gesture of thanks, he recorded a new promotional song for the site about how glorious and wondrous it is to watch people buttfuck on the internet. According to TMZ, the promotional piece contains the lyrics, "You wanna see some fucking anal, I can get you close enough to smell."
Close enough to smell the anal?! Where do I sign up?!
Anyway, if this song becomes moderately successful, expect to feel some guy bonk his half erection up against your hip while this song plays at some crappy bar in the next few months.