My boyfriend and I have spent the night perfecting our newest character creation, Unemployed Batman. He's unemployed, so he takes temp jobs like waiting tables. So we've been doing the Christian Bale Batman voice all night, going:
"WHAT KIND OF SALAD DRESSING WOULD YOU LIKE WITH THAT?"
"I'M SORRY I'M JUST A TEMP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE SOUP OF THE DAY IS. I'LL GO FIND OUT FOR YOU."
"I'M REALLY NOT SURE WHICH ONE OF THE SPECIALS IS MY FAVORITE. I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE LONG ENOUGH TO TRY THEM YET. THEY DID LET ME HAVE SOME GARLIC BREADSTICKS ON MY BREAK EARLIER. THEY WERE VERY GOOD."
"NO I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE GUY WITH YOUR WATER IS. DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE JOKER IS?"
Or, Unemployed Batman tries working at a Gamestop, upselling people for pre-releases.
"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO PRE-ORDER THE NEW HALO? I'M TOLD IT'S A VERY CHALLENGING GAME. YOU GET TWENTY PERCENT. THAT'S A VERY GOOD DEAL. YOU WON'T GET TWENTY PERCENT OFF IF YOU WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE GAME IS OUT."
"NO I'M SORRY WE CAN'T GIVE YOU CASH FOR ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES. WE ONLY DO STORE CREDIT. I'M SORRY YOU THINK IT 'SUCKED BALLS.' BANE BROKE MY BACK THIS ONE TIME. THAT ALSO 'SUCKED BALLS.' SO I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL."