For No Reason Whatsoever, Real Housewives' Simon Has Recorded A Song

Simon van Kempen — otherwise known as the weird, foreign, and rainbow-adorned husband of The Real Housewives of New York's Alex — has officially joined the gang of Bravo reality stars who've crossed over into the world of music-making.

Advertisement

But before Simon goes ahead and pats himself on the back for his cross-genre nightmare, let's take a second to recall the other horrors this exclusive club has birthed:"Money Can't Buy You Class," "Tardy For the Party," and "Google Me." In other words, Simon's single is just as terrible as the rest — prompting us to wonder if Andy Cohen has a music producer on speed-dial for whenever one of his reality minions mention the slightest desire to make music.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

vernonbabba
SlipcoversFTW

There's no way that upper torso has ever met the lower half. Real, my ass.

As for the song, it would have gotten major play at the Wearhouse in Nashville in 1980.