Florists Deliver A Total Shitshow Instead of Pretty Bouquets

Illustration for article titled Florists Deliver A Total Shitshow Instead of Pretty Bouquets

If you didn't get any flowers this year for Valentine's Day, don't take it personally just yet. Turns out there's some serious chaos happening at all the major flower retailers, and it's already ruined a lot of people's Valentine's Days. It's probably a wasteland out there of scolded spouses, awkward evenings, and romances dashed before they could even begin.


Of course, Valentine's Day floral screw-ups have probably been happening for years, but now thanks to the magic of social networking, we have an up close and personal view of the epic fails all of the major online florists seem to be experiencing at the moment. If you take a quick peek at the 1-800-FLOWERS Twitter account, it's hours and hours worth of @replies to customers, apologizing and asking for their order numbers so they can rectify each person's situation. Same thing over at ProFlowers. FTD's Twitter is a mess, but their Facebook page is the stuff customer service rep's nightmares are made of.

One unhappy customer told us his Valentine's Day flower order hadn't arrived, and when he complained he got an email explaining that, "Due to unexpected high volume, your order has been rescheduled for February 15th." Unexpected? It's fucking Valentine's Day, FTD, the biggest day of the year for florists. Blame the weather, blame some computer error, or throw your supplier under the bus, but I'm sorry, unexpected demand is not going to cut it.

Sure, there are probably hundreds of thousands of bouquets that made it without incident—and hopefully you are one of the lucky ones whose house is filling up with floral scents as we speak. But if not, at least this will give us one more reason to keep hope alive that sometime tomorrow a nice arrangement courtesy of a mysterious admirer (or courtesy of the partner who's been busy swearing up and down that they really did order flowers for you) will arrive, and all will be right with the world again.

Image via russ witherington/Shutterstock.



All those who ordered a dozen red roses deserve this. What a tired cliche. Also, they reek of "I'm trying too hard."