Flo Rida and Pitbull Are Stranded on an Island of Misfit Butts

Not content with dominating the airwaves separately with their inane-but-catchy music, Flo Rida and Pitbull have teamed up and released a video for their new song, “Can’t Believe It.” If you thought this tune would be about how they can’t believe how lucky they are to be famous or they can’t believe that world peace hasn’t been accomplished yet or they can’t believe they go by such ridiculous monikers and get away with it, you’re wrong: it’s about how they can’t believe how many large asses surround them on a daily basis.

The video is a marvel of modern technology. Flo Rida and Pitbull dance and rap/sing while surrounded by many bodies that have been rendered torsoless – just legs coming out of legs – or headless, while the ass-to-waist ratio of the women’s bodies have been totally fucked with. Which is to say that someone has taken the already voluptuous bodies of these big booty bitches and whittled their forms in post-production so that each one looks even more Nicki Minaj-like than Nicki herself. At many points, Flo Rida mimes drumming as if to express that that is what he would like to do to one of the headless women around him.

Seemingly unaware that “Can’t Believe It” was done in 1992, when it was called “Baby Got Back,” the video depicts Flo Rida and Pitbull on some sort of island of misfit butts. Perhaps it’s a homage, but if not, if I were Sir Mix-a-lot, I’d be pissed. I’d also be pissed if I was any of the many other people who had done this better before.

For reference, here is a still from the “Baby Got Back” video:

And here’s “Can’t Believe It”:

The lyrics aren’t much better than the visuals:

White girl got some ass
I wanna see it
Black girl got a ass
It ain’t a secret
Baby turn around
I wanna see it, tryin’ to see it, gotta see it
I wanna see that bubble yum bum baram bam baram
bubble yum bum badum bum badum

…

Uh, I think I found one ‘cause I got that fever of…
Britney gotta self a round one, ass like Serena, that’s okay
‘cause I love my stereotypes, my girls in twos
That maximum exposure, Rosa know what I wanna do,
Telling all the girls, all around the world, my last name must be Robins
‘cause I’m basking in these asses, all 31 flavors keep calling,
My my my my vanilla Cinderella love it when I tell her drop it,
My butter pecan Rican but I love my chocolate.

She got that butt donk-donkie- donkie
They so fat, they so chunky,
Call me Michael Jackson, hi hi
‘cause I love to play with monkeys,
This the Miami thing, that’s right
We down for anything that’s right,
You do everything, that’s right